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Shopping for Totems...

"What, exactly, are you looking for in a totem?"

"Well, I'm not sure. My wife wants me to get something dependable, sturdy, more of a family totem. Personally, I'm looking for something a little more adventurous, a little more me. Do you have anything that says, you know, 'I'm still 29'?"

"How about a Jaguar? It's a very popular totem for someone who's still 29."

"Sleek. How many miles on it?"

"Only owned once, by an Amazon warrior tribe."

"Bit scratched up, isn't it?"

"You should see the Amazon warrior tribe."

"I don't know about the warrior thing anyhow, I'm really more of a magician type. Maybe something bigger? We have a family, right?"

"Maybe you'd be interested in Bear. Good family totem, very popular. And the resurrection types come with excellent warrantees."

"Yeah, but it's a pretty poor performer in cold weather. And, I don't know, kind of blocky, like a Volvo."

"Built to last. Great traction, and there's some cold weather options."

"You couldn't really call a Bear sexy, though."

"That's a matter of opinion."

"Pardon?"

"Never mind. Sir, if you want a high-performance family totem, but want a totem that looks good in a vision, you might
be interested in Wolf. Very popular, in fact our most popular power animal. Rated number one in overall performance."

"Very nice. Good paws on that one, too. I like the gray."

"They also come in red, but the insurance tends to be higher on red models."

"Very, very nice. Good coat, too."

"Would you like to take him on a test spiritual journey?"

"Well, it's definately worth considering, but..."

"...But it's too common."

"Yes. You know, everybody and their dog."

"Maybe what you're interested in is something that doesn't actually exist?"

"Oh, like that dragon over there! The long one, one with all the legs?"

"I'd definately stay domestic, sir. You don't want any of those asian imports."

Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
eris_star
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC)
You make me laugh.
:)
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:27 pm (UTC)
That's high praise, oh my favorite priestess :)
eris_star
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:43 pm (UTC)
You're only saying I'm your favorite because we got to stab a cherry jelly doughnut to death as the "virgin sacrifice."
:)
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 06:13 pm (UTC)
Well, yes, true...
baktre
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:27 pm (UTC)
hee hee hee :)

'test spiritual journey'...
mrkamikaze
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:27 pm (UTC)
Did you write that? It's HILLARIOUS!

Can I swipe and show it to my friends list?
I'll give the proper credit.
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:28 pm (UTC)
Sure thing, just link back to my LJ. Yeah, I wrote it, I was trying to avoid work...
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 08:37 pm (UTC)
(blink) You're one of the Flying Fish Sailors? Neat!

I LOVE the song "Peaceful Warriors" :)
mrkamikaze
Oct. 7th, 2004 09:02 pm (UTC)
Yea, I'm the guitar player.
One of the original 3 members.

Peaceful Warrior is an awesome song. You should hear what we are doing these days.

For your perusal I have some MP3's of some of the songs from the new album available for download.

Poke You In The Eye is the title track. An original composition written and sung by your's truly.

Dollar General Dollar is a song written and sung by our fiddle player, Greg Henkel. Check out the Morricone bridges in this song.

Rain is our skewed interpretation of the semi-obscure Beatles song (the "b" side of the single "Paperback Writer"). This song is the direct result of our fiddle player's brother joining the band. His name is Jim. You may have seen him mentioned before in this Journal as the guitarist for Beetle, Light Rock Express and The El Orbits. He is also my best friend.

London Homesick Blues is just one of those songs I had to record. It is an overplayed Texas anthem to be sure. I was honored to be able to sing this as a duet with Pete Gordon (aka The Dazzling Pete Gray of The El Orbits, aka Wet Dawg of Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquers fame, aka good friend and manager of the Continental Club). His piano playing is second to none and makes this song shine (IMHO).
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 09:22 pm (UTC)
I was actually going to bring "Poke you in the Eye" to work today, I just managed to leave it beside my lunch this morning. A little lower key than some of your other albums, from what I remember--Loch Ness Monster has a lot more of my "get stuck in my roommates' heads" favorites, but that might change if I can ever add the new songs to my office playlist. Very nice to "meet" you :) (adds to Friends list)
strigine
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:30 pm (UTC)
Bahahahaha. :D

Can I send this URL to my parents? Or would you rather I just send the text with credit? My dad will *love* this.
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 06:04 pm (UTC)
Blip away :) I like attention...
apryl_knight
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:53 pm (UTC)
This is great! *laugh*
ladyaponi
Oct. 7th, 2004 06:56 pm (UTC)
I am going to nominate you for some form of public office. Supreme ruler of the free world seems fitting.

xoxo
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 07:37 pm (UTC)
No, don't make me in charge of anything else :) Please!
aronal
Oct. 7th, 2004 08:19 pm (UTC)
Very well done!
spottylogic
Oct. 7th, 2004 08:29 pm (UTC)
Yay :)
trolltruk
Oct. 8th, 2004 01:17 am (UTC)
Definitely stay domestic. Changing the spark plugs on your import was hard enough. I don't have the equipment for the yearly fluid change on a dragon.
khime
Oct. 8th, 2004 03:23 am (UTC)
For some reason, I heard John Cleese and Michael Palin in my head for the voices to this.
chakawolf
Oct. 8th, 2004 04:14 am (UTC)
Heh, I like it! very cool!

lunadude
Oct. 8th, 2004 01:26 pm (UTC)
LOL

I wonder what kind of warenties come with these.

;)
sdocat
Oct. 9th, 2004 08:56 am (UTC)
O.o

I'd like to see a continuation of this. Shweet!

You know, Cougars make excellent family totems... As long as you only have one person in your family... and.. you don't like your couch.. and have plenty of.....cheese.
squeakymaus
Oct. 13th, 2004 06:11 am (UTC)
Have you tried out any members of the rodent family? Very economical, very in tune with the magic of food and helpful in acquisition and retention.
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )