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Spam Update:

Heya!

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I really had no idea that was this important. Really. Not enough to have a team of highly trained stunt-monkeys come up with the name "SPUR-M." How many millions of man-hours went into the creation of that one? How long did they debate, how many heated committee debates raged on?

"Testiclon-B? We need to have a dignified name, as befits our founder, J. Walter Stockholm. When he founded this company in 1836, it was to increase the volume of ejaculation for the millions. He started this company out from a feed mill with a simple mission: 'For God and King William, Let us Flood the Land with Fine British Semen.'"

"We know that your grandfather's seat on the Board of Directors gives you an inalienable right to prattle on about these things for hours on end, wasting our shareholder's money on pointless debates and grandstanding, but for the love of God, Dunsten! Show some sense! 'Erectol' sounds like a damned colon cleanser! It's not a proper name for this great product!"

"How about--'Spur-m'?"

"Who said that?"

"I did, sir."

"Who let you into this meeting? It's a meeting of board members, not pushcart jockeys."

"I know, but I've taken a course or two in media theory, and I think I've got something, here."

"It is catchy, I'll admit. Spur-m."

"And think how 'SPUR-M' would look on a T-Shirt!"

"You're right! It practically sells itself! We should set this to music! 'Double your cum with SPUR-M!' Son, you may be looking at an administrative assistant's position in your future! And a dapper company jacket!"

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Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
grimfacemoded
Jan. 24th, 2005 09:50 pm (UTC)
Haw haw! I usually just "save up" for a few days, if I need to impress the ladies. That's a really funny post.
jerseytude
Jan. 24th, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
What lady has EVER been impressed by that?
jerseytude
Jan. 24th, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
On second thought.

I don't want to know.
grimfacemoded
Jan. 25th, 2005 01:48 am (UTC)
No, you're right. It all makes sense now. This is why I'm alone right now. Well, ok, it's one of the reasons. Good God they should ban that stuff! (the medicine, that is.)
spottylogic
Jan. 25th, 2005 08:39 am (UTC)
Hey, Grim! Nice to see you here :)
baktre
Jan. 25th, 2005 06:53 am (UTC)
*snerks at 'flooding the land...'* :)
themiskyra
Jan. 25th, 2005 11:02 am (UTC)
Dude, you keep this up, you're going to make it so I can't check my LJ at work anymore! I had to quick close down my browser so one of my supervisors didn't catch me looking at SPUR-M. :)

Not that it isn't still damn funny.
spottylogic
Jan. 25th, 2005 11:03 am (UTC)
SPUR-M is *always* work-inappropriate...
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )