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Products that Won't Make It:

Splash: Combination shampoo, conditioner, and mouthwash
ChedderShots!: For when wine and cheese just isn't enough
EnerLube: A sports drink and personal lubricant--in one!
Opportuniteenies: cuddly collectible "beanies" of our nation's great industry barons
Diadem: A line of designer-label adult security undergarments
BasilGlo: the first spaghetti sauce made from the new glowing tomatoes!
InCertz: A powerful breath mint, in a convenient suppository form
Bibliodrome: The nation's favorite fast-paced physical elimination game, set in the high-energy, high-stakes world of the research librarian!
Hermaphromage: A gourmand's treat, cheese made from the milk of intersexed cows
MiKroneez: Collectible 1.5" high figures for vending machine and point-of-sale displays, in the likeness of everyone's favorite White House insiders.

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
fairy_wench
Mar. 20th, 2006 12:21 pm (UTC)
I would totally collect Opportuniteenies. I would buy the whole set. In fact, I now have the urge to remake my one and only beanie baby into Henry Ford or someone equally appropriate. This can't be healthy...
spottylogic
Mar. 20th, 2006 12:30 pm (UTC)
I want the beanie Andrew Carnegie!
fairy_wench
Mar. 20th, 2006 12:53 pm (UTC)
Oooh, and a little dour banker-beanie for JP Morgan! With a black derby hat and umbrella!
(Deleted comment)
guardian_lm
Mar. 30th, 2006 02:58 pm (UTC)
Don't forget Theocracy Bear
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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