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Weekend in review--


Okay, that's the LAST party until, like, May at least!

We had a big furry gathering at our house over the weekend. Must have gotten into the mid-20s, on the "people in attendance" chart.

I'd really hoped to plant some trees on Saturday morning, but that just couldn't happen--the delivery guy I usually go with wasn't answering his phone, the trees I wanted wouldn't fit in the car. Came home, did a little clean-up and cooking. Some welcome guests started trickling in at 4:00, so it was kind of hard to get anything serious done after that, at least so far as out-of-house stuff goes.

The party was a lot of fun. Had a little glitch in that I'd wanted to do board games, but the dominant patterns seemed to be video games, anime, and bowling. *shrug* Everyone seemed happy, but next time I'm going to veto the movie/TV thing, once it gets started it doesn't stop!

Lots of new people. Lots of people in general. Wow.

If we do any more events for like the next two months, they're going to be low-key, movie nights with justfriends, that sort of thing, I think. I'm tired on a long-term basis, and there's multiple camping trips starting to rear their heads.

One of the main reasons for holding this one was that there was a journalism student that wanted to do a class project on das furs, and I figured we could help her out and have a party at the same time. Lots of long-term furs have some strong--and well-founded--knee-jerk reactions to the media, so not everyone wanted to play that game, which I can understand. On the "better safe than sorry" equation, sometimes the "safe" option feels like just "sorry" with fewer teeth, though. Like my mom, I've always been a fan of going forward as if you won't get hurt, an optimistic world is an entertaining world with lots of opportunities. Pessimism has a lot fewer risks, but it's just lonelier, with more closed doors and fewer random encounters. Of course, this attitude's gotten me and my mom swindled and burned and cost me thousands of dollars in deadbeat roommate fees, but I think I'm a happier person for it, in the final cost-benefits analysis.

Ramble, ramble.

Sunday was pleasant enough. I got an earlier start on things than I would have liked, but cooked a decent breakfast (waffles, eggs, bacon) for the eight or so people that stayed the night, and then most of us took a trip to the Austin Zoo to see the foxes. There were a LOT of people wearing big silly vinyl collars. I wish they hadn't. I think I would have said something, but I was wearing a big silly kilt, and really didn't have a leg to stand on.

One of the SA guys had a really hawt tattoo of Red XIII. I'm always suprised when adults do that to themselves--not the tattoo in particular, but a tattoo of a transient interest. I want a tattoo, something interesting and tribal, but I don't have any obsessions that last long enough to etch into my body. I'm pretty sure that if I saw a good celtic-style hyena, or a nicely tribal hyena design, I'd bite the bullet (possibly literally, not the best pain tolerance in the world...) and go for it.

Hung out in the living room for the rest of the evening, said goodbye to San Antonioistos and other visitors, which was kind of sad since we're maybe going to back off from the mad event hosting for a while, and some of the out-of-towners are really cute and fun to talk to, and obviously deserve to be confined to our zip code for the rest of their natural lives :) But that's okay, life's so crowded there won't be much time to miss people, and we can try to get down to SA for a meet-up. Don't have much of an excuse, with as many friends as we have there, and Josef's hybrid car makes the gas cheap. I need a Prius. And a latte.

Thoink brought over a wonderful cheesecake, caramel-topped with a coconut base. Incredibly thoughtful, and those are two of my favorite flavors. Which of course is why he picked them. I don't think anyone's ever made me custom food before :)

I've been feeling kind of morose for a few weeks now. It feels like I'm getting to the end of a chapter in my life, and I don't know why, or how to stop it, or if I should. I don't know what it is, it's partially the birthday and the new house, partially getting engaged with Whines, it's making me feel very much like an adult, which I'm not comfortable with. Partially I've been kind of drifting socially, like we've phased into the extravert land of "many friends with limited contact" from the introvert land of "a few close friends." I think I need both in my life, which is hard to hold in suspension, both for myself, and for my friends. And then the large distance involved in where we live has made casual visiting a bit more difficult, since we're not just down the road from anyone.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
luckless_willow
Mar. 17th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
When you wrote of this chapter-ending feeling, it made me think on how I met you. I remember looking around and asking people if there was this one big tree that people met at on campus. I remember seeing a cluster of people sitting at a tree that didn't seem that different than the rest, but something about the group seemed familiar. You were very welcoming. You were very much a part of my early days in Austin.

Thing is, you didn't seem non-adult back then. Being an adult is certainly not a bad thing, which of course, you already know. But what I mean is you never seemed like someone who 'needed to grow up.' You have always been sensible while retaining your sense of adventure and fun. I don't see that changing just because you have another candle on a cake or a mortgage.

spottylogic
Mar. 17th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
It's been a very grow-uppy time for me--and my social group is so *young* right now that I get a sense of disconnect around them that offsets the "youth-by-proximity" to a large degree. And I've been physically tired and a little sore lately, too. It's a lot of things. Nothing says I have to be an old person even if I'm aging, but I have had to do some growing up over the last few years. Not a bad thing, there are different roles for people and those roles change over their lives. I'm the person hosting the party rather than going to it, the person working behind the scenes at church to make church more welcoming, et cetera. People change, that's life. It feels like a transition from "wilder" to "grump" in Changeling--they're both fae, they both have their strengths, but there's still a sense of loss.
eris_star
Mar. 18th, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
And I've been physically tired and a little sore lately, too

Not to trivialize any of the rest of your entry (many of those "growing up pains" are things I can relate to), but don't underestimate the influence physical exhaustion can have on your outlook. There's nothing like digging a hole and waking up aching, to make you feel old.
spottylogic
Mar. 18th, 2008 01:20 pm (UTC)
Well, that's a semi-positive spin on things :)
pacerfox
Mar. 17th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
I don't think it is wise to comment on other's tattoos. You don't know what that may mean to that person. Just because something to you seems of "transient interest" - it may have much more meaning to the person who commissioned it in the first place. Someone may see a tribal design and say "oh, that's just the fad now" - while to you it may mean more.
Just my .02
spottylogic
Mar. 17th, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
*shrugs* It is hard to read a symbol, that's true, and I didn't mean to cause offense. The above is "true for me", not universal truths, there's not a lot that's permanent in my personality, and particularly over the last five years I've had a lot of very core values and traits shuffling around, so I can't think of anything that would be permanent enough to, well, tattoo. But on an absolute level, a media character is a chronological reference point, more than something more abstract might be, because as a symbol-set, it references both whatever the wearer feels that it references, and the media sources that produced it. No matter how deeply the tattoo's owner feels about the tattoo's meaning (I'm not trying to trivialize here, though the sentence might read like that), a portion of the symbol's meaning (seperate from the owner's internal meaning) is tied to a point that's receding into the past.

This is strictly my POV, and one that I'd express (and, I think, have expressed) to someone I know and care about who's getting a tattoo. I'm not saying that getting a tattoo of a media character's a bad thing that should never be done, I don't *believe* that, and it's not my place to say anyway, but in the grand scheme of "this is a permanent fixture in my body," I do think it should be *considered*.

Maybe transient interest wasn't the right word, but this was a very stream-of-consciousness entry, not so much an opinion piece.
pacerfox
Mar. 17th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
I don't see an issue if it is tied to the past, so I guess I don't understand your advice. The person getting the tattoo should determine if it means something more to them then "it's just cool."
And, really, the tattoo owner is the only opinion that matters. I'm not inked so other people can enjoy it. It's a very personal thing.
I was most put off by "when adults do that to themselves." That comes off poorly. Adults do many things from getting tattooed to growing their hair long. I don't think it's anyone's place to judge what we do with our bodies as long as we are not causing them (or anyone else) harm.
But, that is just my point of view.
spottylogic
Mar. 17th, 2008 08:06 pm (UTC)
*fret* But I do judge things, I'm in a continual state of judging things, most people are. How can I not? It's not something I feel very strongly about, one way or the other, and just because something is outside my realm of experience and easy understanding, doesn't mean it's not visually appealing, interesting, or entirely appropriate. Just different from my experience.
pacerfox
Mar. 17th, 2008 08:33 pm (UTC)
Judge not, lest you be judged.

That being said, sure I know we do it. :>
baktre
Mar. 17th, 2008 08:12 pm (UTC)
Maybe one comparison would be between having an image that invoked music in general and an image that was a reference to, say, a specific album cover. Given that we change in various ways that are hard to anticipate over time, a more general, more abstract reference is 'safer' and less likely to suffer from 'Heart with ex-girlfriend's name across it' syndrome.

Of course a world with only abstract images would be a less interesting place. :)

Spotty mentioned some of this to me last night, and it was in the context of 'If I (spotty) got a tatoo', personal musings. As I understood it anyways.
pacerfox
Mar. 17th, 2008 08:28 pm (UTC)
Safe yes. Dull? Well that's up to the person I suppose.
I just had an objection to the way he phrased it is all. No worries!
nightfolf
Mar. 18th, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
Board games are fun, I'm happy to play either, as I'm sure most of us would have been. Just not the tile one, that one wasn't all that fun to me. lol

There's a lot of finalizing like factors involved that are probably making you feel the way you are. The things you mentioned being the factors obviously. I'm of course talking about how you feel a chapter is ending or something.

Every time that I have a big change I sort of dread it. I know that things aren't going to be -exactly- the same again. And there are parts that I am going to miss and wish I could have back. I do this a lot when I randomly start remembering things. It's often a mixed feeling. But overall I don't mind where my life is going. Though I do miss things from my past. I don't know if it this is similar to how you're feeling or not. We're all different, but there may be some similarities.
(Deleted comment)
spottylogic
Mar. 18th, 2008 01:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Tattoo
I was pretty sure I wanted to design a Werewolf: The Apocalypse tattoo for myself, I used to be a dab hand with the pictograph set.
flippantmoniker
Mar. 18th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
Ha Ha Ha! I'll be sure to wear either long pants or tall socks next time I visit your place.
Ha Ha Ha!
furrybluenaki
Mar. 19th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
Tattoos, et al.
That's ok, we still love you.

Yes, I got the Red XIII tattoo I'd say about a year and a half ago, in the time I practically worshipped this character. For now, he's more of a guide of sorts. I still do not regret getting it.
I am not sure if I'd get another one because this character holds special meaning to me. He resembles a shamanic side, in tune with the planet, and my interest in native american culture reflects my interest in him.

I was also one of those who wore the nylon collar. I thought your kilt was pretty cute. Anyway, haven't been doing that long, but I'll sometimes wear it out, even at Walmart, because I know people will look at me, and I need to get past being afraid of what other people think. Sometime I'll post a picture of my tattoo here. That lady that did the media took a few pictures of it, and she has my email so hopefully she sends me them later.
spottylogic
Mar. 19th, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Tattoos, et al.
I'm never sure how to mentally approach the "try to stand out" angle--but I'm a little bit conservative on some things, these are my issues, not other people's. It makes me a little uncomfortable when people decide to wear tails and collars in public. I guess the question comes down to "what do you want to express about yourself, and how important is that?"

Being a furry isn't a defining element in my life, so I don't feel like making a Statement about it (and it makes me a touch uncomfortable when other people do). I will, however, wear rainbow stuff occasionally--not often, but occasionally--because gay rights are important to me, and being gay *is* a part of my identity. To each their own.

I don't think I'll ever quite get over the discomfort around other people with collars and tails outside of what I percieve as "safe places," though--it feels a little like "scaring the mundanes," which just isn't high on my to-do list, without a good reason.
furrybluenaki
Mar. 19th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Tattoos, et al.
Oh, that totally makes sense to me. I guess for me, my furryiness is the most important thing (well aside from the obvious keep my job and work to eat). I don't wear the collar to work for obvious reasons. Even in public I don't always do that but I think also I've become somewhat attached to it.

Lots of people do things that make me uncomfortable, Death Metal bands, gangsta rap, images of gore and such. I just avoid those. And I hope that I don't have a double-standard here, just that I do what I feel is right for the moment.

I am glad you brought that up because it allows me to think about different issues. Though I try not to be phased by what others think, I do want to make sure I'm doing what I want because it is geniune, not to make it hard on others or show off and such. For me, in places like furmeets, I sort of now feel lost without my collar.

I'm the kind also that's planning to start gymnastics so I can at least do some good stuff when I get my fursuit. I don't know how far I'll get, but I just want to have fun in life, and juggle, and make children smile.
spottylogic
Mar. 19th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Tattoos, et al.
And it's important for me to remember that other people, well, aren't me.

One of the single most important things I learned in high school was the "black box theory" of human interaction. People believe that their own actions are easy to understand ("People will understand if I have to cross three lanes of traffic, it's obvious that's the only way to get there...") but since they can't actually see into anyone else's head, other people are, insert one, insane, stupid, just wrong ("What the HECK was that idiot doing, crossing three lanes of traffic?!?")

V-e-r-y basic observation, but sooo important to communication and interaction. It's terribly easy to see yourself as right, and other people as kind of demented, and I need to "reality check" myself occasionally...
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )