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Title: You will need to buy rubber friends of a bigger size.
Body: Now men with abnormal sizes can enjoy this life.

Title: Tired of keeping your little friend in a cage because of his inadequate size?
Body: The longer your tool is, the longer your fun in bed lasts.

Title: Your male member can be as huge as Titanic.
Body: Walk with pride around the pool having huge and lovely tool.
----
I love it when Spammers get creative :) I confess, I have no earthly idea what the first one is talking about. I think it addresses an issue that I wasn't previously aware of - the need for inflatable companions for under/oversized males.

If one has a vienna sausage rather than an Ekridge Smoked Pork Kielbasa, does one buy a smaller inflatable doll? That would seem awfully emasculating. Surely, one simulated orifice would be just as good as another. There shouldn't be performance anxiety with a blow-up doll. But I make these assumptions. Maybe the more realistic ones critique your performance.

"Oh, the horror - she had a cigarette after we finished and just...popped!"

The second spam message sounds more like it refers to small dogs than penii. I'm just saying.

I'm delighted by the rhyme and meter of the third one. I LOVE Trochaic verse. It's got a rich, primitive sound. One wants to hum it as one strides around the swimming pool, inviting--even daring--people to look upon your magnificence. Gaze but briefly upon it, lest it blind you with its glory. Turn your eyes--do you remember the end of Indiana Jones? That's what happens when you open THIS box.

But I digress.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
paka
Nov. 19th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
Tired of keeping your little friend in a cage because of his inadequate size?

You know, the first thing I think of is some sort of horrible, D&D/Brobdignagian thing where you're hauling around a tiny reduced-sized wizard screaming and trapped in a cage, possibly for trading with night hags. Only after I thought of this did my mind stray to "the size of one's member requires one to wear a chastity belt."
spottylogic
Nov. 19th, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC)
Heh. Tiny wizard. That'd be a good euphamism anyway. It's up there with "purple-hooded bishop."
shockwave77598
Nov. 19th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
But... but I don't want my member to smack into icecubes and sink!
spottylogic
Nov. 19th, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC)
role-playing livens things up immensely :)
d_deviant
Nov. 19th, 2008 04:38 pm (UTC)
Oh Spotty!
You bring me Lullery before school and work!
spottylogic
Nov. 19th, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC)
It is my only goal, sir :)
d_deviant
Nov. 19th, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
Well then, +50 exp for the wonderfully adept Hyena!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )