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Just need to vent for a moment

Whoof, I'm hurting right this second, it'll pass.

I applied for three roles within my company--two for product manager jobs (the next logical step for someone who supported the prodect manager team for five years, won awards for it, and was in fact being groomed as a product manager), one for inventory controller (reasonable job app for someone who was, previously, an inventory controller). Two of these jobs were under people I regard as friends in the company.

No-one called me back, but all positions have been filled--in at least two cases by people who had my exact same job when I was fired, they just kept their jobs. I'm a little more ambivilent when someone I interview with at UT doesn't call me back...it's still a fucking lame way of handling people who actually interview with you, but if being fucking lame was a hanging offense, we'd all be swaying from trees.

It hurts to be working here. My title is "adminstrative assistant," which, forgive me if you're an administrative assistant, kind of sucks as a title after being a Regional Marketing Coordinator, or Marketing Project Planner, or anything that wasn't a generic "work for hire" title for a temp agency. It hurts to see people that have the same experience I do, just slightly better at making friends, or what, I don't know, getting promoted while I'm doing the same work with no benefits, a crap title, and apparently no chance of promotion. And every day I get hit with a conflict of interests, one boss telling me their pet project is more important than another boss's.

Temping is indentured servitude for the 20th century.

It sucks that I get passed over for promotions because once, when my position was cut, I jumped from the replacement position to go back to my original department. That REALLY stings. And it's happened twice now. Really, that's a GREAT way to reward loyalty.

It sucks that I can't afford to have hope. I have some possible openings at the University of Texas, but I feel like if I even start smiling about having an opportunity, I'll just be slapped in the face, ignored, passed over, or what, I don't know. No-one's guaranteeing me a job, of course, but after, what, seven UT interviews, I'd really like to believe that I'll land a job there someday. I really mean it about "can't afford hope." I've turned in probably 30-40 UT applications, had like 7 interviews, and time and again, get turned down, or more likely, get dead silence. I hate it. I feel mildly sick every time I submit a job to UT, just because it's like working for two hours on a nice meal and then throwing it to the neighbor's dog, over and over and over again, without even the "pleasure" of hearing the dog eat it. PLEASE don't tell me "it's the economy" or "it'll work out eventually." I know that, it's what I tell myself, but they're very hollow words.

I'm starting to turn dark and nasty at work. Some recruitor called me up and I chewed her out. I kind of like her, I've worked with her in the past on other failed applications, she seems nice. But this building and company fill me up with such total despair at ever having a real place in the org, it's hard not to channel that bitterness to someone who in some way represents this company's hiring department. Which is self-destructive.

[info]shockwave77598

2010-06-09 05:36 pm (UTC) Select: Delete Spam Screen Freeze Track This

(128.157.160.13)
Then tell your boss exactly how you feel about being treated like such. Say that loyalty is a two way street and if the company doesn't show some of it back, you have little reason to personally care about the company anymore.

And if nothing starts moving, then nonsmiling start your search. No need to be mean or happy about it. It's simply a business move rather than personal. If you cannot climb the ladder of success there, then there's nothing wrong with finding a place you can. Just don't tell your current company while you are doing so.
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[info]fadesdog

2010-06-09 05:40 pm (UTC) Select: Delete Screen Freeze Track This

(206.208.104.19)
I'm definately job-searching on the side, internally and externally. I have an awkward relationship with my boss--she's in another state and really doesn't know much about me, and a member of a department I'm not really very interested in.

In part, it's corporate culture more than relationship between employees. They cut a LOT of people, and no-one's really secure in their roles.

Suffice to say I have no reservations at all about submitting two--probably one--week notice, if even a crappy-but-growth-positive position opens.
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[info]fadesdog

2010-06-09 06:04 pm (UTC) Select: Delete Screen Freeze Track This

(206.208.104.19)
Another "hitch" is that I'm definately not alone. The company is re-orging every three months, still in the process of merging/consolidating, and the entire office is on-edge. Every day you see people wearing their interview suits, and when my previous boss asks me to recommend her on LinkedIn, it's never a good sign! There is ZERO company loyalty in the company, from the top down or bottom up. Sad state of affairs, rlly. This is entirely a "treading water" employment for myself, and a lot of people are in the same boat, which is a bit of a mixed metaphor.
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[info]synj_munki

2010-06-10 11:58 pm (UTC) Select: Delete Spam Screen Freeze Track This

(70.116.16.23)
I hope it gets better for you, and things work out. one of the crew leads on the job i'm on now got hired permanent less than 6 months after BA and has about a year total experience. Yeeeeeah. I was telling her how to do the job. super-ausome.

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