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Recent house events, for those who care--

Badger has been following through with his pickle luminescence project, much to everybody's dark terror. The fear is that he will burn down the house or cover it with bits of exploded gherkin. He acquired a jar of pickle slices, and a jar of complete pickles. Since only half a pickle lights up when you run house current through it, I guess the entire slice will illuminate? Probably not.

I have acquired a cooking skillet with a 14" base, and wide sides--a half a yard wide skillet. I will take this skillet to bed with me, for I am experiencing kitchenlust. I can simul-fry six burgers in my new skillet, at the same time, and it makes a most satisfying sound when struck against someone's head.

Today, I am giving up caffeine. I've had a cup of decaf coffee this morning, it is unsatisfactory, like a shakespearean pun. Unfortunately, as an Artist, I'm required by the union to have at least one vice, I'll have to find someonething to substitute. Absinthe is tempting, but technically illegal, and I'm not a fan of drink anyway--maybe soy products to excess? Reading style manuals as a road to dissipation and moral decrepitude? (looks through spice cabinet) I've heard that nutmeg...no, no, never use baking supplies for other than their intended purpose. That's why your sister was in jail, Spotty. (re-reads previous lines) October's right, I am a nellie :)

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
fletcher
Aug. 10th, 2003 05:40 pm (UTC)
re: suitable vices

if you're off caffine, and the usual mind-altering substances are for whatever reason deemed unsuitable, I can only suggest deviant sexual acts.

While this would seem troublesome, given that it usually involves more than the individual, I'm assured by te Powers That Be that excessive masturbation counts.

What constitutes 'excessive' is left as an exercise to the reader.

spottylogic
Aug. 10th, 2003 05:51 pm (UTC)
Certainly worth thinking about, and you always have the best indecent suggestions :) Problem, though--most of the T-Standard artist's vices should leave your hands free to type/paint/whatever. That's why the biggest is cigarettes, followed by alcohol, drugs and coffee. Excessive masturbation would not leave me free to type or even properly hold a notepad. It would also, I'm almost certain, play havok with my metrics ("Spotty, what's with all the iambs?" "Well, it's a bit embarassing...")

Thematically appropriate, though, as 80% of poetry is masturbatory. (laughs.)
texasfanboy
Aug. 25th, 2003 09:17 pm (UTC)
Sadly,,,
Recent studies have concluded that masturbating five times a week during the 20's and 30's actually helps a lot to prevent prostate cancer. So, excessive masturbation is no longer a vice -- unless you masturbate so frequently you bleed, which I've heard is possible, but have never experienced myself (thank god).

Something I learned at UH when I was getting my writing degree -- you're not really a writer until you're also an alcoholic. Introduction to creative writing was taught by a man whose goal was to turn every last one of us in to alcoholics before the semester was over. Got about half of us.

They were the best writers in the class too, by the end of it. Soemthing to think about.
spottylogic
Aug. 26th, 2003 01:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Sadly,,,
Interesting. How Moulin Rouge, no successful writing until you're visted by the magical green Absinthe fairy. Huh, so that's what I'm doing wrong.

At my job I've been dealing with a lot of large posters with cheerful messages like "A Writer Is Also A Reader!" and "A Writer Learns!" and "Sometimes A Writer Isn't Inspired." I think I'll have to request one that says "A Writer is Well-Marinated!"
(Anonymous)
Sep. 4th, 2003 06:05 am (UTC)
Vices
Well, besides the obvious choices for a man of your ilk -- those being absinthe, laudanum, mercury and amphetamine -- one might suggest online roleplaying. I have watched a fairly good writer lose herself to her chatrooms, and a sweet little feline blow many hours and brain-cells a night playing Ultima. I hear DAoC is even worse for that. You could also develop a taste for truly obscure German techno and electronica. You might like the VNV Nation remix of "Kathy's Song" by Apoptygma Berzerk (the one with the bible-come-Metropolis intro).
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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