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Dear Mr. Williamson:

We appreciate your interest in our Diversity Team, and the list of suggestions you have given us. It is the contributions of our office "family" that help us grow strong and keep the Diversity Team vital.

However, while we all wish to recognize our office diversity and our wide range of cultural backgrounds, we will not be able to make the "Running of the Bulls" an office event. Your Spanish heritage is an asset to our company, and as long as it is feasable we want to support and recognize our communal heritage, but the main hallway and second floor meeting room simply are not large enough to hold fifteen bulls, and we do not have the liability insurance for such an event.

Thank you for your suggestions, and we welcome any further contributions you may offer.

Warmest regards,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
HR Diversity Team Lead
(512)XXX-XXXX

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
vioxel
Jul. 7th, 2004 09:02 pm (UTC)
Perhaps they would compromise on an "Aimless Meandering of the Petting Zoo Goats?"
spottylogic
Jul. 8th, 2004 05:36 am (UTC)
Hmm...less drama and danger, though. Will think on this.
threejane
Jul. 8th, 2004 07:40 am (UTC)
Petting Zoo Goat: A Lesser Evil?
Judging from your supercilious tone, you two haven't come across one of those vile beasts recently. Or perhaps your memory fails you because you have repressed the horror of The Petting Zoo Goat. I do not know why goats are included at petting zoos. Perhaps it is to amuse the workers. Scenario: Petting Zoo Goat sees diapered child weaving about the pen. One quick head punt later the diapered child sees the other side of fence! Oh, the wailing. Oh, the gnashing of first teeth. Oh, the gleeful laughter of insane goats. Goats toss toddlers like some people toss salad or cookies. And they eat anything and everything. Seemingly with only their foul breath, they can vaporize unsuspecting purses and trousers in seconds. The only way to hold them back is with some kind of super powerful projectile unit. From as far away as possible. (Note to self: water pistols don't work. Investigate other options.) Now, as bad as their behavior is, their appearance is probably worse. Those eyes! Those eyes! The geometry is just wrong. And the stench! The stench! If this is what they do to the all-powerful two year old, I would hate to see the mayhem created against adults. <<<>>>>
spottylogic
Jul. 10th, 2004 06:27 am (UTC)
Re: Petting Zoo Goat: A Lesser Evil?
These are all valid points. And I shall use goats to keep my house toddler-free. They do have lovecraftian eyes, though. Creepy. Ungulates are best in their natural habitat--styrofoam cartons with cellaphane over the top.
themiskyra
Jul. 8th, 2004 11:15 am (UTC)
Spanish heritage my....
I'm surprised they sent you back such a serious-sounding reply. :)
spottylogic
Jul. 8th, 2004 02:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Spanish heritage my....
You're listening to me again, you should stop doing that :)
squeakymaus
Jul. 8th, 2004 06:41 pm (UTC)
Re: Spanish heritage my....
If the initial memo existed, then it is being faxed around the department as humour.
sdocat
Jul. 8th, 2004 11:17 am (UTC)
I know there is a story here somewhere... Your Spanish? Ola!
spottylogic
Jul. 8th, 2004 02:01 pm (UTC)
No, I just babble a lot :)
vverevvolf
Jul. 8th, 2004 12:33 pm (UTC)
I think the bulls refer to that event as "The trampling of the idiots."
naggy
Jul. 8th, 2004 04:57 pm (UTC)
Send the bulls anyway, and claim you never saw the memo.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )