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Shopping for Totems...

"What, exactly, are you looking for in a totem?"

"Well, I'm not sure. My wife wants me to get something dependable, sturdy, more of a family totem. Personally, I'm looking for something a little more adventurous, a little more me. Do you have anything that says, you know, 'I'm still 29'?"

"How about a Jaguar? It's a very popular totem for someone who's still 29."

"Sleek. How many miles on it?"

"Only owned once, by an Amazon warrior tribe."

"Bit scratched up, isn't it?"

"You should see the Amazon warrior tribe."

"I don't know about the warrior thing anyhow, I'm really more of a magician type. Maybe something bigger? We have a family, right?"

"Maybe you'd be interested in Bear. Good family totem, very popular. And the resurrection types come with excellent warrantees."

"Yeah, but it's a pretty poor performer in cold weather. And, I don't know, kind of blocky, like a Volvo."

"Built to last. Great traction, and there's some cold weather options."

"You couldn't really call a Bear sexy, though."

"That's a matter of opinion."


"Never mind. Sir, if you want a high-performance family totem, but want a totem that looks good in a vision, you might
be interested in Wolf. Very popular, in fact our most popular power animal. Rated number one in overall performance."

"Very nice. Good paws on that one, too. I like the gray."

"They also come in red, but the insurance tends to be higher on red models."

"Very, very nice. Good coat, too."

"Would you like to take him on a test spiritual journey?"

"Well, it's definately worth considering, but..."

"...But it's too common."

"Yes. You know, everybody and their dog."

"Maybe what you're interested in is something that doesn't actually exist?"

"Oh, like that dragon over there! The long one, one with all the legs?"

"I'd definately stay domestic, sir. You don't want any of those asian imports."


( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC)
You make me laugh.
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:27 pm (UTC)
That's high praise, oh my favorite priestess :)
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:43 pm (UTC)
You're only saying I'm your favorite because we got to stab a cherry jelly doughnut to death as the "virgin sacrifice."
Oct. 7th, 2004 06:13 pm (UTC)
Well, yes, true...
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:27 pm (UTC)
hee hee hee :)

'test spiritual journey'...
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:28 pm (UTC)
Sure thing, just link back to my LJ. Yeah, I wrote it, I was trying to avoid work...
Oct. 7th, 2004 08:37 pm (UTC)
(blink) You're one of the Flying Fish Sailors? Neat!

I LOVE the song "Peaceful Warriors" :)
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 7th, 2004 09:22 pm (UTC)
I was actually going to bring "Poke you in the Eye" to work today, I just managed to leave it beside my lunch this morning. A little lower key than some of your other albums, from what I remember--Loch Ness Monster has a lot more of my "get stuck in my roommates' heads" favorites, but that might change if I can ever add the new songs to my office playlist. Very nice to "meet" you :) (adds to Friends list)
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:30 pm (UTC)
Bahahahaha. :D

Can I send this URL to my parents? Or would you rather I just send the text with credit? My dad will *love* this.
Oct. 7th, 2004 06:04 pm (UTC)
Blip away :) I like attention...
Oct. 7th, 2004 05:53 pm (UTC)
This is great! *laugh*
Oct. 7th, 2004 06:56 pm (UTC)
I am going to nominate you for some form of public office. Supreme ruler of the free world seems fitting.

Oct. 7th, 2004 07:37 pm (UTC)
No, don't make me in charge of anything else :) Please!
Oct. 7th, 2004 08:19 pm (UTC)
Very well done!
Oct. 7th, 2004 08:29 pm (UTC)
Yay :)
Oct. 8th, 2004 01:17 am (UTC)
Definitely stay domestic. Changing the spark plugs on your import was hard enough. I don't have the equipment for the yearly fluid change on a dragon.
Oct. 8th, 2004 03:23 am (UTC)
For some reason, I heard John Cleese and Michael Palin in my head for the voices to this.
Oct. 8th, 2004 04:14 am (UTC)
Heh, I like it! very cool!

Oct. 8th, 2004 01:26 pm (UTC)

I wonder what kind of warenties come with these.

Oct. 9th, 2004 08:56 am (UTC)

I'd like to see a continuation of this. Shweet!

You know, Cougars make excellent family totems... As long as you only have one person in your family... and.. you don't like your couch.. and have plenty of.....cheese.
Oct. 13th, 2004 06:11 am (UTC)
Have you tried out any members of the rodent family? Very economical, very in tune with the magic of food and helpful in acquisition and retention.
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )