JHVH-1: That's the one. Created in my image, ordained shepherd of the world. Into his care the beasts of the field, et cetera.
ARTIE: The "no pants" thing works for him.
JHVH-1: It's evil, of course.
ARTIE: Wahat parts are created in your image? Can you be specific?
JHVH-1: Be quiet, thou serpent.
ARTIE: You know, I wouldn't mind being created a bit more in your image.
JHVH-1: You aren't friends with being quiet, are you?
ARTIE: Or let me try some creating. You could model.
JHVH-1: Business, Artie. We have to reach our target audience.
ARTIE: If he's about two feet away, you're set.
JHVH-1: No, he's over there. Adam, come here.
ADAM: Lord! Hi!
JHVH-1: Adam, this is Artie. He helped me create yams, Tuesday and Dick Clark.
ADAM: I've been drawing pictures with pee!
ARTIE: Nice work if you can get it.
ADAM: This thing is really neat. Do you have one of these?
JHVH-1: I have five. Look, we wanted to talk about fruit.
ADAM: I like fruit.
JHVH-1: Good! See, Artie? He likes fruit.
ARTIE: That's not really what were're after here.
JHVH-1: Fruit. I made it, and it was good.
ARTIE: Yes, I've got that.
JHVH-1: Getting the seeds in there was the hardest part.
ARTIE: Adam, how do you feel about oranges?
ADAM: The part outside's kind of bitter, but once you get through to the middle, it's pretty good.
ARTIE: User having problems with the packaging. We may want to include some instructions.
ADAM: How come I can't lick myself clean?
ARTIE: Talk to the boss, that's more of a design issue. Now, how do you feel about grapes?
ADAM: They're great! And you can do so many things with them!
ADAM: They get extra sweet if you leave them out for a few days. And they fly real good.
JHVH-1: Good, okay. Now, how do you feel about the Fruit of Knowledge?
ADAM: It's forbidden, lord.
JHVH-1: I know, but would you like some?
ADAM: You said it was going to kill me, lord. So, no, not really, no.
ARTIE: Okay, Adam. The Fruit of Knowledge. Let's pretend--don't look at me like that, it's like when you play like you're a tiger. Maybe a horse. Pretend that the Fruit of Knowledge is just a fruit, and that it's not going to kill you.
JHVH-1: That's a good one, Artie.
ARTIE: This is all yours, right? It's not like His Largeness is going to create something that would hurt you.
ADAM: Except for hippos.
ARTIE: Yes, except for hippos.
ADAM: And falling out of trees.
ARTIE: Yes, there's that. But if the Fruit of Knowledge wasn't forbidden, and wasn't going to kill you?
ADAM: It's scary.
ARTIE: Scary? How so?
ADAM: It's green, and I think it wants to hurt me.
ARTIE: I don't get you, son.
ADAM: It's spiky, and I saw one land on a badger, and it didn't move any more.
ARTIE: Heavy...and...sharp. [writing.]
ADAM: And it leaks.
ARTIE: Leaks. Visually unappealing. Possibly deadly.
ADAM: And it smells like poo.
ARTIE: Like poo?
ADAM: Dog poo.
ARTIE: Lord and creator, can we talk?
JHVH-1: What about?
ARTIE: Maybe target audience isn't the issue, here.
JHVH-1: If you're going to forbid something, don't go halfway--sharp bits, lethality. It should look forbidden.
ARTIE: And smell forbidden, too.
ARTIE: Do you actually want these to sell, lord? I don't think marketing is going to move them.