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Published again :)

I'm going to have about four sentences in a children's book my company's putting out :) Unattributed, but still...they cleaned up a book with too many insults and toilet jokes, and found out it wasn't funny anymore. So they ran the book downstairs to the Official Marketing Funny Person. Neat!


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 18th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC)
And the four lines were...? :-)
Nov. 18th, 2004 05:26 pm (UTC)
Out of context, they'd make no sense. But for posteriority. The plot, if you can't glean it: Boy finds talking pencil that 1) corrects his spelling and 2) berates him mercilessly. He gets called to the principal's office for talking out of turn, and the principal breaks his pencil and keeps half. I'll bolden the parts I put in.

p. 11

"Pumkin," he wrote.

"There is a 'p' after the 'm,' the pencil shouted. "It's 'pumpkin.'"

"That's easy for you," said Sam. "I never spelled vegetables before, I just eat them."

Somebody behind him laughed. Sam had never talked to his pencil before.

P. 13

"Raspberry," she said.

"R-a-s," wrote Sam. He stopped.

"Get with it," shouted the pencil. "It's 'p' and then berry."

"Why is there a 'p' there?” said Sam. "I can't hear it."

This time, everybody laughed!

P. 18
"Pumkpin," Sam wrote. He knew there were two 'p's.

"Have you got a pumpkin for a brain?" Shouted the pencil.

"How many 'p's do you want?" said Sam.

The principal looked at Sam. "Enough to spell pumpkin," he said. "How many do you have?"

P. 19
"I was talking to my pencil," said Sam. "It shouts at me, and tells me how to spell pumpkin."

"I can fix that," said the Principal.
Some of these are lead-ins in the original text. They're a lot less funny out of context. They weren't terribly funny in context, but you should have seen the original. Plus, I had to write for struggling reader 3rd graders, so I couldn't use the Big or Naughty Words. Or make "p" jokes.
Nov. 18th, 2004 08:01 pm (UTC)
Heheh, cute nonetheless.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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