Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic

I'm sorry, no.

I'm doing some engraving at the moment--embossing people's names on bibles and Episcopal books of common prayer. People like their full names on their books, but because of the nature of my engraving press, a small--say, 4.5-inch wide--book runs a danger of getting damaged, because I'll crush its spine with the bolt that holds the lead type together. It's very frustrating.

If a name is small--like "G. E. W." or "Maxwell Sharp", I can usually shift the type to the middle of the typeset bar, and then the bolt doesn't bite into the book spine. So, long names are better with big books--just as well, because long names take longer to set, need more space on the bible anyway.

I hate screwing up books, because there's no way to repair them, and they tend to cost $50 to replace. Sometimes someone will ask me to print their heirloom bible--shudder. That's kind of scary, since it's a medium that's so very easy to misprint. Or typo. OR just screw up.

So...Noreen wants me to print her little prayer book. With her full name. It's a cheap one--cheap plastic cover, no gold leaf. The name? Slightly changed--remember, on this scale, anything longer than "Robert Anton Wilson" causes an unsightly blemish on the spine--

"Noreen Newhart Diefendorfer Pontius"

No, sweetie.

(Sets "Noreen N. D. Pontius")

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