Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic

Never let them see you yawn--

Weekend was unsatisfying, but fun. Went to the Table Rock fantasy faire, which had 25 more booths and merchants than I was expecting (I was expecting five, there were thirty), and a lot of people in costume, then went that evening to see Underworld, which I had been waiting for with baited breath and watering mouth, which is a bad combination (can lead to embarrassing drowning).

Or does baited breath mean you have minnow-mouth? Anyway…

Underworld's previews don't do the movie justice. There are a few slick visuals in the preview, but the movie—oh, the movie—it's really bad. Werewolves do not change sizes between shots and walk across walls for no good reason, and there's nothing like a Deus ex Machina to say "I love this character but can't come up with a better ending." To say it was like the Matrix, but with vampires, is unfair—the Matrix is much better, and "like" doesn’t really describe the level of rip-off-itude. Much with the sucking. And I like my werewolves with a wee bit more fur, but that’s a personal esthetic. Nice transformations, though.

Anyway, what I have learned at the Faire--never, ever let Sholo the Nubian hear that you are bored. We walked the entire faire in an hour, me and Badger and baktre. And then, I looked at them and said "Is that all? I mean, we've seen everything, do we want to head out? I'm out of ideas, here."

And then Sholo strode forward. I thought he was lawn art. How wrong I was. Bad-wrong. Bdong. I was subjected to a 20-minute, poems, songs of battle, Nubian-in-your-face, occasionally shaking your head for you, demanding to know "IS THE MAN STILL BORED?!?!?!?!? WHAT SAY YOU, MAN WHO IS BORED????!!!???"--um...presentation. Impromteau, abusive performance. I got Nubian-foam on my glasses, he was really ranting. Impressive, completely unexpected, astonishingly embarrassing. Badger loved it. At the end, "NOW, MAN WHO IS BORED NO LONGER. YOU WILL GIVE ME A DOLLAR FOR MY TIME AND YOUR EDUCATION."

Well, that's some aggressive showmanship :)

Got some new music, most of which I already had somewhere else, which is why I got it--and some fun toys that fire a blast of concussive air about 30 feet! Mmm, toys...good weekend overall.

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