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I think he makes that sh*t up...

The Jedi Council is, no offense to any Jedis who may be reading, v-e-r-y liberal in their "Things that to the dark side lead." I mean, really. "Being a teenager, to the darkside a path is." "Once married you are, always will the Dark Side rule you." Okay, maybe I agree on that one. "On the road of IH35 be careful, twist your thoughts, its darkness will."

My guess, they've got a spreadsheet somewhere, or like a series of fortune cookies that list them out. Regardless, everyone always nods sagely when ever Yoda coughs up one of these gems. So they've *got* to be written down.

Top 10 Things That To the Dark Side Lead:

10: "Being an orphan, of the dark side, is."
9: "Wookie bondage porn, to the dark side will lead."
8: "Once you begin on the path of restating the obvious, always to the Dark Side will it lead you."
7: "Those who would go to the dark side, first black clothing and accessories wear."
6: "A bad script, a sure path to the dark side is."
5: "Ranged weapons. Useful they are, but a Jedi trusts them not."
4: "Clear directives, understandable reasons for his orders, indeed reasonable orders--a Jedi needs not these things."
3: "Aimlessly you must wave your lightsaber, and give them to five-year-olds you should. Selfish concern for life and limb, the dark side of the force is."
2: "Close your eyes, and your mind. The blatantly obvious, you must ignore."
1: "A Jedi's dialogue flows smoothly, and pauses awkwardly, he does not. The story of Darth Shatner, remember well you must."



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 23rd, 2005 12:46 pm (UTC)
*hastily deletes wookiee bondage porn collection*
May. 23rd, 2005 12:50 pm (UTC)
It's okay, the whole leather strap thing they have going on, it lends itself to it.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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