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This is fascinating.

This is a very nicely-expressed essay on why geeks/gamers/furries/unclassified freaks seem to feed on drama and draw it to themselves. It's also short and concise and has bullet points.

Geek Social Fallacies

It's interesting...very interesting, and a little painful. I'd picked up on the first two fallacies ("Ostracizers are Evil", "Friends Accept Me the Way I Am"), that's the two Big Obvious ones and they deserve their place as the top factors of this list. But I'm more a 3-5 person.

Most of them seem to be ways of getting over high school, trying to pick up some positive life-lessons from that hell-experience.

Lord, I'd *love* to get over high school. Maybe by the time my second reunion rolls around.

It's that these are actually, in their lowest level, benign, good, commendable things, that's the biggest problem with them. This is why I've had such a hard time articulating things like "Why I want to strangle the furry fandom" - Broadly, it's *good* to be able to express yourself, and give shelter to the slightly troubled. But where do you draw the line when someone is blatantly socially self-destructive? Can you love someone for who they are when what you're doing is rewarding social suicide, and creating a spiral of weirdness feedback? Why don't more people step back and criticize, and why do I have such a hard time doing it?

Anyway...really thoughtful article. This gives me a vocabulary to work from, and some reflection on my own problems as a geek.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 27th, 2005 06:20 am (UTC)
fascinating indeed. I can see a lot of some of these in the social dynamic of a group of RL friends known collectively as "the Grill," so named for the place we first started hanging onto. It has itself developed into a monstrosity of inclusion by Person A, who is In, bringing Person B along and vouching for them by saying, "He's cool." Extended to significant others, family members, and numerous other connections, it's virtually impossible for any three of them to get along fabulously. Our social unit is rife with 2, 4, and 5.

Thanks for the link.
May. 27th, 2005 08:16 am (UTC)
I'm not sure if I'll be able to change my own habits, but it's good to at least have terminology. A lot of my big fights with Butterfly have been because of disagreements based on these fallacies.
May. 27th, 2005 06:35 am (UTC)
Wow. That's very nicely written. I like the reference to the counter-reaction of people who poo-poo everything.
May. 27th, 2005 08:15 am (UTC)
Isn't it creepy? And of course, if you expect that your friends should universally get along, when one of them abandons the "just accept everyone" fallacy, it creates friendship dissonanace because they're NOT being a friend of a friend, but you have to accept that...Yeesh. It's very nicely crystallized.
May. 27th, 2005 06:57 am (UTC)
May. 27th, 2005 08:17 am (UTC)
And regrettably applicable to pagans, too. Pagans, gamers, and furries all come from the same breeding stock (except that furries don't breed much).
May. 27th, 2005 11:06 am (UTC)
Interestingly, the worst case of #2 I've seen was in someone who wasn't much of a geek at all.
May. 27th, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)
"GSF4 is the belief that any two of your friends ought to be friends with each other, and if they're not, something is Very Wrong."

I carried a few of the fallacies in mind(though lightly) when starting to step into my circles of friends, but #4 was the only one that really caused me grief.

Having all my friends combined into one big giant family was always a big fantasy of mine when I was younger, probably because I never had anyone to clique with in school, but also because my RL family was(and still kinda is) small and or nonexistant.

The first time I tried that(introducing Tobias to a fairly old friend of mine) ruined my friendship with the old friend, mainly because the old friend was jealous I was spending so much time with this "freak." Other instances included introducing female friends to guys I were fairly close to and the female friends having relationships with the guys. As they were teens at the time and it was always complicated, the relationships ended badly and EVERYONE was hurt in the end.

So...I've learned my lesson. I'm still nervous about when we move though, you and Whines get to meet a couple of my crazy friends. o.o
May. 28th, 2005 08:50 am (UTC)
They can't be *much* crazier than me and Whines :) But that's not a social, that's just everybody bust their backs to move the packrat cougar. You tend to travel light :)
May. 27th, 2005 02:48 pm (UTC)
"essay on why geeks/gamers/furries/unclassified freaks"

You forgot about anime fans. The worse ones I've ever encountered are on Anime Nation's forums...

I left that place, but there are still a few people on there I wouldn’t mind hitting really hard with a 'logic' or 'stop being whiny/anti-drama' stick.

The article is pretty interesting, though. And I've actually seen the fallacies a lot so far in my internet life.

However, if your an administrator/moderator/etc. your going to have to learn to draw those lines whenever you like it or not. And often make decisions that may not be liked by a minority/majority sub-group in the fandom.
I've had people get mad at me for banning them and actually try to get back at me, quite ignorant that they themselves had serious social problems that needed to be taken care of.
May. 27th, 2005 07:00 pm (UTC)
I'm cool with 1-4. 5 is where it *really* hits home for me. Must work on that.
May. 28th, 2005 10:30 am (UTC)
It's really the interaction of these problems that creates the terrible fuck-up situations. Most of them aren't so bad individually.
May. 27th, 2005 09:16 pm (UTC)
So if friendship isn't transitive is it at least commutative?
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )