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I was taking care of an old friend's old dogs this morning--and feeding them. I was, of course, running later than I wanted to be for work, so I put their food down, and hoped for the best.

The older one wolfed her 1C of kibble down in about 30 seconds. The other one decided to stretch out the pleasure a bit. It was almost sensuous.

First, he pulled the vitamin I'd put in the kibble out. And chewed it, noisily, for roughly 30 seconds. Before swallowing. Three times. He smacked his lips, and looked around a bit, testing the air. Then, he noticed that he'd lost a kib (half a kibble), and lapped it up off the floor. Then, he sniffed around that side of the bowl to see if there was anything else he missed. Then the front and rear of the bowl.

Then, hearing me swear, he stared at me with a "yes? What else were you doing?" beagle-eyed stare.

Then, he sniffed the contents of his bowl, and licked it (without eating any.)

Then, he licked the rim of his bowl.

Then, he very slowly licked the *sides* of his bowl. The outside, mind.

Once he'd finished fellating his dog bowl, he finally started actually eating two or three kibbles at a time.

The final score? 2/3 C of dog food, eight minutes.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 28th, 2005 07:39 am (UTC)
That's so funny. Fellating a dog bowl? Ha!
Jun. 28th, 2005 07:48 am (UTC)
He was so tender and careful about it, too.
Jun. 28th, 2005 07:50 am (UTC)

I love dogs, my yellow lab wolfs down her food in about an 1/8th of a second, while the golden retriever and the rat dog (I have no clue what the fuck she is) take five days to eat one bowl.
Jun. 28th, 2005 07:56 am (UTC)
They should be consistant...at least, if one of them isn't strong enough to force the other one away, they should really pace themselves better.
Jun. 28th, 2005 04:28 pm (UTC)
It's the journey, not the destination. (Few canids understand this, however.)

Jun. 28th, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
Ah. Well, I'll approach this as a philosopher's journey, then, rather than an inconvenience :)
Jun. 29th, 2005 02:29 am (UTC)
Sounds like doggy likes food-foreplay.. foodplay? no.. Food-latio? Closer. Gave his bowl a rim j- naaah, too obvious... *think* *think*

I'll get back to you on this one
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )