January 28th, 2004

[fades] browns and reds

More whining

I've heard defenses of them, that they're a good catharsis, that mmprpgs are social, but, more and more, I'm feeling the same way about video games the way I feel about watching my sister letting her life wash away so she can smoke marijuana. What a waste--not only killing time, but spitting on its grave. I lost a summer to Civ. Pointing and clicking was easier than facing the fact that I was unemployed, and it was better to be mindless than in pain. A huge part of my last breakup (besides all the other factors) was watching Samantha, a creative person who called herself an artist, fritter away months of her life--running away from company, whatever--to replay some game she'd beaten five years ago. I'm getting to the point where, if I see someone's back, with their hair haloed with phosphorescent glow, I can't see that person as human anymore, another damn pixel zombie. If there was some way of banking all those lost hours, of reclaiming that full day of a week freely given so that some busy friend can give themselves an eighth day, or a dying mother can spend an extra month with their kids before she moves on, I could see that as a good thing. But it's just so much time flushed down the crapper, and all we have, the only thing of any real value, is time. I'm not the best person about carpeing my diems, but shutting down? Letting the mouse take over? (shudder) I can't understand it.