February 23rd, 2004

[fades] browns and reds

Oh, whipping boy...

"Oh whipping boy, whipping boy!"
"Yes, mistress?"
"Whipping boy, prepare me a report on sales of the English Language Learners complete package over the last two years. And whipping boy, I want it in red this time. Why you waste my time with black ink, I'll never know. We will never stand apart from our competitors with black ink."
"Yes, mistress. My life to serve."
"Oh, and whipping boy?"
"Yes, mistress?"
"Fax it."
"...Mistress?"
"You heard me. Fax it. Fax it red. Ha hah!"
"As...you wish, mistress."
"And once you have faxed my...red document, you and I shall take a tour around the building, looking for displays for the conference. The English Language Learners conference."
"I serve only you, mistress."
"Do you know where to find displays, whipping boy?"
"I don't, mistress."
"I think you do, whipping boy."
"Perhaps in the marketing closet, mistress?"
"And this closet, do you know how to open it?"
"Oh yes, mistress!"
"And can I trust you with the key, whipping boy? I don't think I can. I will go with you, and tether you with this leash. You cannot be trusted with even a key, whipping boy."
"As you say, mistress."
"I do say, whipping boy. Put on your leash."
"Yes mistress, I shall. The collar is too tight, mistress."
"You will try to escape, if it is too loose, and we could not have that. Now, my fax."
"Yes, mistress."
"My...red fax."
"Yes, mistress."
"You will need to find the sales information, you know."
"Of course, mistress."
"You will do this by two o'clock, whipping boy."
"I serve only you."
[fades] browns and reds

Oh Whipping Boy II...

"Come here, Whipping-boy."
"Yes, mistress?"
"The report you gave me."
"The report, mistress. Did it please you?"
"No, it did not please me. I shall call you dog-boy now, you do not deserve to be called Whipping-boy."
"Oh, mistress, let me please you again. If I have failed, somehow..."
"Perhaps I might allow you to please me again, dog-boy, if--"
"If? If, mistress?"
"If you rebuild the report."
"At once! At once, mistress!"
"By ISBN."
"Ah..."
"You are drooling, dog-boy. I can see your new name suits you."
"But there are--"
"I don't believe I asked you to speak, dog-boy."
"Yes, m--"
"Ah? There are eight hundred and forty ISBNs, dog-boy. You do not need to tell me what is in the catalog. Who manages those pages of the catalog, dog-boy?"
"You do, mistress."
"Good, dog-boy. Now, provide me sales information on each product on those catalog pages. If your efforts are acceptable, perhaps I will give you your old name back."