April 23rd, 2004

[fades] browns and reds

Whipping Boy III

"Oh, whipping boy!"
"Yes, Mistress?"
"Whipping boy, I want you to make me a spreadsheet."
"Yes mistress! I am very good at spreadsheets."
"Really? Very good? How often have you pleased me with your messy little spreadsheets?"
"You understand this. Good. Now, do you know what I desire?"
"I would not presume to know, mistress."
"Go through our catalogs, and gather together obscure little packages, I shall need at least forty of them. And list what is in each one, and what each one is contained within."
"Yes, Mistress."
"And e-mail this spreadsheet."
"Yes, Mistress."
"To the United Arab Emirits."
"At once, Mistress."
"But, whipping boy--mind the cost."
"The cost. Of the file."
"I don't understand, Mistress."
"Of course not. E-mail to the United Arab Emirites is expensive, whipping boy. When you have finished making this spreadsheet, it must be small, and trim, and precise."
"There are so many products, Mistress! Each package contains a hundred titles!"
"Trim, and precise, and legible, whipping boy. Do not waste my time with quantities."
"At your pleasure, Mistress."
"Think of nothing else."