Warning:
WARNING: OBJECTS PERCEIVED THROUGH GRAVITATIONAL LENSING EFFECT OF TWO SUPERMASSIVE STARS ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR
BRITE-O TOILET CLEANSER FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY
DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF REST-RIGHT MATTRESSES
NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEFT, DAMAGE THROUGH NEGLIGENCE, OR ACTS OF JUDEO-CHRISTIAN GOD
NOT TO BE REMOVED EXCEPT BY CUSTOMER UNDER PENALTY OF VAGUE, UNDEFINED GUILT
NOT LIABLE FOR DAMAGE TO GENDER ROLE
THE SURGEON GENERAL HAS DETERMINED THAT USE OF THIS PRODUCT AS INTENDED IS GAUCHE
WARNING: USE OF RINSEWELL ALL-PURPOSE CLEANSER IS THANKLESS
ADULT DOSE: ONCE EVERY FOUR HOURS, NOT TO EXCEED FOUR DOSES PER DAY. IF SYMPTOM PERSIST, DISCONTINUE USE OF RELIGION AND CONTACT A PHYSICIAN
NOT FOR USE AS A MORAL COMPASS
ALLERGEN WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN WHOLE COCONUTS.
LIFE PRESERVER IS A FLOATATION DEVICE, AND IS NOT INTENDED TO AFFECT YOUR SOCIAL STANDING OR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP(S)
PHENYLKETONURICS - CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE, OR MAY BE AN EARLY 1980S HAIR BAND
IN CASE OF ACCIDENTAL INGESTION BE MORE CAREFUL IN THE FUTURE
LIFE-STYLE AND SUGGESTED WEALTH LEVELS OF INDIVIDUALS PORTRAYED IN TUREL CIGARETTE ADVERTISEMENTS ARE ONLY REINACTMENTS. TUREL IS NOT OBLIGATED TO PROVIDE A CAR, BEACH PARTY OR PERFECT BLOND HAIR WITH PRODUCT.
USE OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HAS BEEN CONCLUSIVELY LINKED TO HALITOSIS, ACNE AND LOSS OF SLEEP.
NOT VALID IN TX, CA, FL OR BELGIAN CONGO
OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS PROGRAM ARE PURELY THE OPINIONS OF THE WRITER, AND IN NO WAY REFLECT THE BELIEFS AND VALUES OF THE AUDIENCE
WARNING: EXTENDED USE OF MICHAEL HAS BEEN LINKED TO DROWSINESS, IRRITABILITY AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE/HYPERTENSION. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE BEGINNING RELATIONSHIP WITH DRAMA QUEEN.
TEENAGER NOT TO BE REMOVED FROM BED UNDER PENALTY OF WHINING AND NASTY LOOKS.
IN CASE OF INTENTIONAL INGESTION A 15% GRATUITY HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR RECEIPT
USE OF CLOVE CIGARETTES DURING PREGNANCY MAY CAUSE FETAL ANGST
USE OF PRODUCT HAS BEEN LINKED TO BAD HAIR
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: USE OF REPUBLICAN PARTY HAS NOT BEEN CONCLUSIVELY LINKED TO HIGHER SOCIAL STATUS AND INCOME. AS ALWAYS, CONSULT YOUR FAMILY PHYSICIAN BEFORE ADOPTING A NEW POLITICAL PARTY.
WARNING: CONTAINS BROKEN GLASS
THE SACRAMENTS EXPRESSED IN THE 1836 BOOK OF COMMON PRAYER ARE OUTWARD AND VISIBLE SIGNS OF AN INWARD AND SPIRITUAL GRACE, AND IN NO WAY IMPLY A CONTRACTUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND OR A DIVINE POWER
WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE OR DELAY SERVICE IF WAITER DOESN'T THINK YOU'RE CUTE
MAY CAUSE EXISTENTIAL DOUBT
BRITE-O TOILET CLEANSER FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY
DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF REST-RIGHT MATTRESSES
NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEFT, DAMAGE THROUGH NEGLIGENCE, OR ACTS OF JUDEO-CHRISTIAN GOD
NOT TO BE REMOVED EXCEPT BY CUSTOMER UNDER PENALTY OF VAGUE, UNDEFINED GUILT
NOT LIABLE FOR DAMAGE TO GENDER ROLE
THE SURGEON GENERAL HAS DETERMINED THAT USE OF THIS PRODUCT AS INTENDED IS GAUCHE
WARNING: USE OF RINSEWELL ALL-PURPOSE CLEANSER IS THANKLESS
ADULT DOSE: ONCE EVERY FOUR HOURS, NOT TO EXCEED FOUR DOSES PER DAY. IF SYMPTOM PERSIST, DISCONTINUE USE OF RELIGION AND CONTACT A PHYSICIAN
NOT FOR USE AS A MORAL COMPASS
ALLERGEN WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN WHOLE COCONUTS.
LIFE PRESERVER IS A FLOATATION DEVICE, AND IS NOT INTENDED TO AFFECT YOUR SOCIAL STANDING OR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP(S)
PHENYLKETONURICS - CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE, OR MAY BE AN EARLY 1980S HAIR BAND
IN CASE OF ACCIDENTAL INGESTION BE MORE CAREFUL IN THE FUTURE
LIFE-STYLE AND SUGGESTED WEALTH LEVELS OF INDIVIDUALS PORTRAYED IN TUREL CIGARETTE ADVERTISEMENTS ARE ONLY REINACTMENTS. TUREL IS NOT OBLIGATED TO PROVIDE A CAR, BEACH PARTY OR PERFECT BLOND HAIR WITH PRODUCT.
USE OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HAS BEEN CONCLUSIVELY LINKED TO HALITOSIS, ACNE AND LOSS OF SLEEP.
NOT VALID IN TX, CA, FL OR BELGIAN CONGO
OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS PROGRAM ARE PURELY THE OPINIONS OF THE WRITER, AND IN NO WAY REFLECT THE BELIEFS AND VALUES OF THE AUDIENCE
WARNING: EXTENDED USE OF MICHAEL HAS BEEN LINKED TO DROWSINESS, IRRITABILITY AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE/HYPERTENSION. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE BEGINNING RELATIONSHIP WITH DRAMA QUEEN.
TEENAGER NOT TO BE REMOVED FROM BED UNDER PENALTY OF WHINING AND NASTY LOOKS.
IN CASE OF INTENTIONAL INGESTION A 15% GRATUITY HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR RECEIPT
USE OF CLOVE CIGARETTES DURING PREGNANCY MAY CAUSE FETAL ANGST
USE OF PRODUCT HAS BEEN LINKED TO BAD HAIR
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: USE OF REPUBLICAN PARTY HAS NOT BEEN CONCLUSIVELY LINKED TO HIGHER SOCIAL STATUS AND INCOME. AS ALWAYS, CONSULT YOUR FAMILY PHYSICIAN BEFORE ADOPTING A NEW POLITICAL PARTY.
WARNING: CONTAINS BROKEN GLASS
THE SACRAMENTS EXPRESSED IN THE 1836 BOOK OF COMMON PRAYER ARE OUTWARD AND VISIBLE SIGNS OF AN INWARD AND SPIRITUAL GRACE, AND IN NO WAY IMPLY A CONTRACTUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND OR A DIVINE POWER
WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE OR DELAY SERVICE IF WAITER DOESN'T THINK YOU'RE CUTE
MAY CAUSE EXISTENTIAL DOUBT
