September 14th, 2005

[fades] browns and reds

Fun dream last night--

I don't remember much of it, but the basic plot was that there was an elaborate game created for dragons--it was sort of Quiddich, sort of basketball, and you got extra points based on the timing of when or whether the hoop was on fire as the ball went through it.
Yeena gem-tone

Reasons I Would Not Want to Have Been a Furry in the Middle Ages:

--tie-on tail seen as evidence of being in league with Satan.
--black cats all killed off during witch trials--no date on Friday.
--Feudal system makes hunting for wild game in forests illegal. Need new pick-up spot.
--animal fur carries fleas, fleas carry the black death. Messy.
--Early "Dance Dance Revolution" games lit by Dominican monks with torches as a spiritual devotion. Gregorian chants never get above difficultly level 3.
--"Bretoncon" disrupted when the Fursuit Parade mistaken for invading northern barbarians, and Njordwolf was killed by burning pitchblend.
--Con hospitality suite only serves roasted tubers, leeks, and "stew."
--Bounty on wolves means there's a 3-shilling reward for your boyfriend, and you feel guilty for weeks about skinning him.
--Early "3 megs per fortnight" transfer rate really reduces the flow of good artwork on the Vixen Controlled Library.
--All good yiff story ideas used up by the Normans.
--Faux fur really unconvincing and stitched onto burlap. Chafes like hell.
--new movable type press makes fandom briefly popular, but spreads way too many sensational stories about the big meet in Westbrook.
--Sheriff of Nottingham creates weird vogue for fat, pushy wolves.
--Hard to differentiate subtle shading of fur in woodcuts. Can't tell foxes apart. Similerly, "naughty bit pink" not available until 1640.
--EVERYONE on IRC keeps spelling "The" with a "ye".
--Artists keep ripping off character poses from your favorite religious icons.
--"perspective" not used in art until the early Renaissance. Can't tell if fox in picture is castle-crushingly large, or just very very close.
--Fabric dyes reserved for nobility, so fur color is limited to black, brown and grey. Have to scrap idea for purple wolverine.
--Panthers, leopards not sufficiently illustrated in bestiaries. Lack of models frustrating for artists. And jaguars and cougars haven't been discovered yet.
--Translating between pounds, shillings, pence, guineas and Linden bucks nearly impossible for paid "Second Life" accounts.
--Photoshop automatically applies "woodcut" filter to all images, ruining shading
--The codpieces on Doug Winger's male characters are really, insanely large, and it's difficult to take them seriously.
--one-handed typing even more challenging when you have to "alt-shift" to differentiate S and Medial S.
--Disney refuses to release the latest Japanese silk paintings in a timely manner.
--No spandex. Skintight costuming has to be accomplished with a mixture of coal tar and ash.
--Standards of hygiene being what they are, the four-day 'cons smell a little strange.
--WeazelX's rave mix of Hildegaard Von Bingen's Antiphon "O quam magnum miraculum" just isn't danceable.
--at the Equine Forum, *everybody* is accessorizing with their new plowshare.