March 20th, 2006

[fades] browns and reds

Products that Won't Make It:

Splash: Combination shampoo, conditioner, and mouthwash
ChedderShots!: For when wine and cheese just isn't enough
EnerLube: A sports drink and personal lubricant--in one!
Opportuniteenies: cuddly collectible "beanies" of our nation's great industry barons
Diadem: A line of designer-label adult security undergarments
BasilGlo: the first spaghetti sauce made from the new glowing tomatoes!
InCertz: A powerful breath mint, in a convenient suppository form
Bibliodrome: The nation's favorite fast-paced physical elimination game, set in the high-energy, high-stakes world of the research librarian!
Hermaphromage: A gourmand's treat, cheese made from the milk of intersexed cows
MiKroneez: Collectible 1.5" high figures for vending machine and point-of-sale displays, in the likeness of everyone's favorite White House insiders.