September 27th, 2010

[fades] thoughtful

Sometimes our brains are pudding when we are three

The "write this, beeyaches" blurb for the day is "what are your earliest memories?" Mine are trying to crawl over a step in our old house, so probably 2.5 or so, whenever kiddies are starting to walk. I can remember a collection of things from there, very shardlike moments which may not have happened, but since I moved at age 3 it's a clear dividor. Getting covered with ticks from the squash patch behind the house, gathering pecans at the neighbor's house, the feral cats they had, one of my cats scratching me when I was sitting on the roof of the car, seeing both of my cats wander off into the sunset, being embarrassed that I pooped in the bathtub (hey, I was really young...)

Most of these memories are weirdly 3rd-person though, a camera watching me.

There are a few very clear ones that I remember vividly that...probably didn't happen. In particular, mom has a statue of a lion cub that I remember quite clearly winking at me. In retrospect, this seems unlikely, and it hasn't repeated itself yet. I am going to make sure that I get that statue so that when I'm 82, maybe it'll do it again.

I had a pillow with a marbled, "oil on water" pattern of blacks and whites that I would flip over and over in different directions, pretending that the pattern was shifting and bubbling. One time, when I'd done this 20 or 30 times, I flipped it over and there was a hooded, cowled face, like an executioner's hood, in the swirling patterns, big and dominating the entire pillow.

The biggest one--and one that I've met at least one person that's with me on--that 1981 happened twice. The entire year happened, then THEY re-set the calendar back a year. I was a little older then, probably six--or maybe seven, if you're on the ignorant Gregorian calendar. There was a year that was broken somehow, really short, and THEY reset the calendar.

Anyway...I can see why children might believe in fairies, when dreams and reality are pretty much interchangable.

calendar reset


2010-09-27 10:38 pm (UTC) Select: Delete Spam Screen Freeze Track This

I didn't have 1981 reset but I did have a year reset on me when I was about six or seven.
I seem to remember something horrible and unexplainable happened and then it was as though
I relived part of the spring and summer.
(Reply) (Thread)


2010-09-28 04:35 am (UTC) Select: Delete Spam Screen Freeze Track This

I Have a really interesting memory, of being 4 or so, and going to a "gypsy"s house with my mom. You, know, like a classic fortune-teller gypsy. I remember the home being lavishly decorated and smoky, and I was clearly convinced she was some sort of mystic through my childhood. Thinking about it, she was probably just a pot-smokin hippie of sorts. I never saw her again, but she gave me this book.
[fades] gloomy

Maybe we can try this day again some other day.

This has been a "redo, please" day. I could NOT make it out the door this morning, and ended up leaving some papers I needed for a meeting this afternoon AND my work badge. I also left my lunch, but I remembered that one, at least, and went back for it--throwing everything into a bit of a time crunch.

Whines, bless him, decided to trim and edge the front yard, which makes me very happy :) Unfortunately, he edged away a jasmine that I'd been waiting to see bloom. Totally not his fault, everything looks the same, but it was a sour note in the morning.

Snarling at friends over e-mail = another bad note to the day. Vague sense that nothing is going right, though it's all going fairly well and I'm getting work done.

Yesterday was hard, too--there was about six hours of church meeting, none of which I had any engagement at all in. It was all "let's explain our policy-making policy," and they overwrote the part where the various committees get to talk for a moment about their goals for more policy-making policy, which was pretty frustrating.

I tend to sign everything I do "best, jacob," but my finger slipped and I sent "besat, Jacob."

Vulturing my gmail box for information about Friday's job interview doesn't help the day feel even-keeled, it just adds to the wobbly, out-of-this-moment element.