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Argh! about nothing in particular

I feel so stifled right now! My job's not creative, it's all numbers (though I can get the numbers to do neat tricks, and there's been a lot of problem solving lately). I want to write, but when I get the time off, I don't have anything to write about (this is a lack of discipline more than anything else, I think). I think I'm just thwarting myself left and right. This is probably my annual bout with Seasonal Affected Disorder or Winter Blahs or whatever, though it's so hard to tell if I'm having seasonal depression, or if (05) I'm having relationship angst from suddenly being "the other woman", (04) I lost a roommate to a motercycle accident, (03) the crush from hell has rendered me highly disfunctional for the last four months (this may be a stretch, but it was felt most keenly in the winter), (02) I broke up with my girlfriend but for financial reasons have to live with her, (01) I'd taken on my first rent payment but can't for the life of me get a job, (00) My dad left my mom in November, took all his stuff, and filed for divorce Valentine's Day.

Long and short of it, I really don't like the winter. Bad things tend to happen. This one's been relatively nice, I've gotten a raise, Whines moved in, all my roommates are paying rent--works been a struggle lately, but that's a standard part of life, and they gave me a 4% raise.

I can't tell the cause and affect. It's probably both--the horrible things tend to happen in the winter *anyway*, but the emotional stuff that's low-key (like the nightmare unrequited love thing in '03 and the winter breakup in '02) are magnified by winter depression to unmanagable levels.

Blah. Come on, spring! I'm going to shoot, skin and grill me a prognosticating groundhog now, that bugger gave me another six weeks of this gloom...


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 23rd, 2006 08:41 am (UTC)
how 'bout we shoot you story roots and you put them together?
Feb. 23rd, 2006 09:07 am (UTC)
Have you considered writing a serious non-fiction feature story. It'll get you out of the house at least for the research.
Feb. 23rd, 2006 10:26 am (UTC)
They have winter in Texas?
Feb. 23rd, 2006 10:52 am (UTC)
It's all relative...
Feb. 23rd, 2006 11:33 am (UTC)
Hmm.. a BBQ party sounds like a good idea. Well, maybe not *real* groundhog, but I'm sure something can be grilled in spirit. =P
Feb. 23rd, 2006 12:41 pm (UTC)
Its bright and happy outside right now, and this is Texas, so you should get out there and soak up some rays while you can. I think its supposed to rain tomorrow. ;)
Feb. 23rd, 2006 12:50 pm (UTC)
*gives that spottybuttyena a hug*
You know what will make you feel better?

Coming over and cooking me something with coconut and curry.

Mmmmmmmm Feelin better never tasted so good
Feb. 23rd, 2006 02:26 pm (UTC)
You know, I get that feeling too, around this time of the year as well. Didn't have it last year cause of Jeff, but the monotony of work is grinding on me this year. I've been wanting to draw and be creative too, but when I get home my drive to do so has disappeared!

I think its just general humbugs. Have you had any parties lately? I know we haven't been over in a while. I grabbed the Wall from mom recently, don't know if you and Whines are still interested in seeing it or not, but yeah.

Feel betta soon, man!

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )