This morning, I was feeling unusually industrious, so I washed all four cars in the driveway. Mine had a thick layer of hackberry sap, Paths had more bird crap on it than was aesthetically pleasing, Butterfly's was okay but hadn't been washed in about a year. Whines' was okay to begin with, but he's been out of town since Wednesday at 6:00 in the morning, and I wanted to do some nice things for when he got back.
Now, on the back of Whines's funny little toy car there's a rainbow sticker--well, most of a rainbow sticker. It's a sine-wavey line that stretches a yard or so across his hatchback, a little less than a centimeter thick.
Where his thumb rubs against it when he pops open the trunk, the colors have torn off. So, it's not so much a Gay Pride sticker as a Ga ide sticker, the red and yellow bands have come off. So, last June--I'm going somewhere with this, I swear--I bought him a new wavey rainbow sticker.
After I washed his car, I decided to put the new sticker on, and peeled off his old one. But I'm not the most dexterous person on the planet, and it's hard to line up a yard-long wavey floppy adhesive line evenly. So after repositioning it six times, it was too stretched to work with anymore, and I threw it away.
I called Whines up and asked if he wanted a new one, maybe one of the ones that's a series of dog prints in bright happy colors. I know I've seen that each time I went into a gay bookstore (feigns looking innocent). It was for church supplies, I swear.
So I went to Lobo's Books, no sticker there. The closest thing they had was a series of "Male" signs that you could stick wherever you like, perhaps to identify males which in the GLBT community can be a bit challenging, but it didn't seem appropriate.
Then I went down to Tapelenders, where I *did* acquire a copy of Corpse Bride on DVD for cheap, but no puppy-paw rainbow stickers.
I got desperate, and went to Book Women. I always feel uncomfortable going in there, because I have a penis, sometimes a second one on loan, and it makes me feel out of place in the big Lesbian bookstore. They *did* have a sticker that was six cat pawprints on a black background. Not quite the same.
The clerk got a laugh when I said "I was washing my boyfriend's car and destroyed his rainbow sticker, and I can't find a new one!"
That sentence made me think of I Love Lucy, trying to do something for Ricky before he came home. I thought, "What would Lucy do?"
Before I got six colors of acrylic paint and dipped Plague's paws in them and forced him to walk sideways on Josef's car, I thought, "Wait, 'I Love Lucy' is filmed in black and white."
Whew. Dodged that bullet.