Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic

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Kind of like "I Love Lucy," but gayer.

For those of you that don't know, Whines has been out of town most of this week doing family stuff in Illinois, so I've been left to my own devices, which mostly consist of watching "Gummie Bears" and reading D&D books. I had better devices, but the batteries ran out.

This morning, I was feeling unusually industrious, so I washed all four cars in the driveway. Mine had a thick layer of hackberry sap, Paths had more bird crap on it than was aesthetically pleasing, Butterfly's was okay but hadn't been washed in about a year. Whines' was okay to begin with, but he's been out of town since Wednesday at 6:00 in the morning, and I wanted to do some nice things for when he got back.

Now, on the back of Whines's funny little toy car there's a rainbow sticker--well, most of a rainbow sticker. It's a sine-wavey line that stretches a yard or so across his hatchback, a little less than a centimeter thick.

Where his thumb rubs against it when he pops open the trunk, the colors have torn off. So, it's not so much a Gay Pride sticker as a Ga ide sticker, the red and yellow bands have come off. So, last June--I'm going somewhere with this, I swear--I bought him a new wavey rainbow sticker.

After I washed his car, I decided to put the new sticker on, and peeled off his old one. But I'm not the most dexterous person on the planet, and it's hard to line up a yard-long wavey floppy adhesive line evenly. So after repositioning it six times, it was too stretched to work with anymore, and I threw it away.

I called Whines up and asked if he wanted a new one, maybe one of the ones that's a series of dog prints in bright happy colors. I know I've seen that each time I went into a gay bookstore (feigns looking innocent). It was for church supplies, I swear.

So I went to Lobo's Books, no sticker there. The closest thing they had was a series of "Male" signs that you could stick wherever you like, perhaps to identify males which in the GLBT community can be a bit challenging, but it didn't seem appropriate.

Then I went down to Tapelenders, where I *did* acquire a copy of Corpse Bride on DVD for cheap, but no puppy-paw rainbow stickers.

I got desperate, and went to Book Women. I always feel uncomfortable going in there, because I have a penis, sometimes a second one on loan, and it makes me feel out of place in the big Lesbian bookstore. They *did* have a sticker that was six cat pawprints on a black background. Not quite the same.

The clerk got a laugh when I said "I was washing my boyfriend's car and destroyed his rainbow sticker, and I can't find a new one!"

That sentence made me think of I Love Lucy, trying to do something for Ricky before he came home. I thought, "What would Lucy do?"

Before I got six colors of acrylic paint and dipped Plague's paws in them and forced him to walk sideways on Josef's car, I thought, "Wait, 'I Love Lucy' is filmed in black and white."

Whew. Dodged that bullet.
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