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Gonadectomy also eliminated sex differences in weight, nipple development and elasticity of the urogenital meatus

Biologists--and apparently psychologists--are some messed-up people. I can imagine the grant request for this one--

Bursar: Now, explain your experiment again?
Glickman: We'll be removing the reproductive organs of the painfully common spotted hyena, to see how that affects common sex-related differences. Like hormonal levels, nipple development, and urogenital tract elasticity.
Bursar: [shuffling papers] And you'll be testing this with--
Glickman: Red hot tongs, yes.
Bursar: Ahh. And this is a psychological experiment?
Glickman: Oh, yes.
Bursar: What are some of the possible benefits of this experiment, do you think?
Glickman: Fewer hyenas, to start with.
Bursar: Spot on, Glickman. Do you have any follow-up experiments?
Glickman: We had thought to wave large, sharp objects at their faces, and see how they react to them, possibly pull very hard on, maybe hang weights from, their tails, and see how that affects their emotion-signalling patterns. Then perhaps we'll test their bouncing points.
Bursar: You don't have, shall we say, a personal involvement in this experiment?
Glickman: [looking sad] When I was very young, my brother brought home a pet hyena. It was a little cub, but it was big enough to eat Mr. Bingles.
Bursar: Mr. Bingles?
Glickman: My stuffed koala, Mr. Bingles.
Bursar: That's terrible. We'll get you your funding right away.
Glickman: Thank you, sir.

I confess to not understanding much of this. I can't imagine the hyena signed a consent form, or had the nature of the experiment clearly stated.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 11th, 2003 09:15 pm (UTC)
Bwahahahaha! 'Fewer Hyenas, to start with'? *wipes eyes* :)
Dec. 11th, 2003 09:21 pm (UTC)
I have a vague feeling that most hyenas would nod and say "yeah, that's a good thing..."
Dec. 12th, 2003 12:11 pm (UTC)
That's because their next thoughts would be "more meat for me"
Dec. 14th, 2003 08:12 am (UTC)
That was disturbing.
Dec. 14th, 2003 12:21 pm (UTC)
Hyenas aren't known for their generosity when it comes to food. Yet they still don't actually fight each other over it, at least not within the clan. Hyenas eating dinner resembles the pie eating competition at the fair.
Dec. 14th, 2003 09:43 pm (UTC)
This all makes me very glad I'm a drat. I don't share. I don't have to. And anyone that asks me to, I sit on.

*clicks claws* Pack animals are weird.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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