Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic
spottylogic

I see there can be no peace between us...

[Spotty enters elevator at work with two other co-workers. His hands are full, holding a large book, a lunch bag that wants to fall apart and throw a plate on the floor, and a half-gallon of skim milk. His boss enters at ground level.]

Boss: "Oh, that's good to know."
Spotty: "What?"
Boss: "That you have all that milk."
Spotty: "Oh...yes...why?"
Boss: "Well, if I have to steal from someone, at least it would be a friend."
[Entire elevator goes silent.]
Spotty: [after a long pause] "Richard, there are no friends when it comes to milk theft."

...

Got up this morning and briskly walked around the neighborhood for a half-hour. Had a breakfast shake (soymilk, tofu, yogurt, a handful of almonds, splenda, and some instant coffee for flavor]. Lunch was a spinach salad with olive oil, garlic and vinegar for dressing, and a few pre-packaged chicken breasts. Dinner is going to be a lean beef stirfry. So, that's how I'm beginning my new year, foodwise. It's a good start, and boy, dieting sure is easy on day one :)
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