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Well, don't say they didn't warn you.

Read on the side of a bottle of "personal lubricant":

For topical use only. Avoid contact with eyes and ears."

Duly noted.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 6th, 2007 01:09 am (UTC)
umm.. Story?? :)

Please? :)
This just sounds too funny. :)
Mar. 6th, 2007 01:52 am (UTC)
It's a very short story. There was this bottle, and it had this text on the side. I wish I could claim more story, you'll just have to imagine the incident that lead to that legal disclaimer's necessity...
Mar. 6th, 2007 01:10 am (UTC)
Oh.. and Happy Birthday! :)
Mar. 6th, 2007 01:52 am (UTC)
Thanks. Give me four hours and I'll miraculously be 29 again!
Mar. 6th, 2007 08:27 am (UTC)
Eyes, sure, I can see that... but ears? Heaven forbid your ears become -too- lubricated. The worst thing I can see coming out of that is that it may interfere with your hearing for a while if it actually gets inside, and that's generally true of, well, anything you put in your ears, hm?

A wiser label would warn against contact between the substance and the soles of your shoes.

Or the soles of your roommate's shoes, as the case may be.
Mar. 6th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
And clearly, people do put some strange things in your ears.

Oh--it'd be REALLY cute to apply some high-grade lubricant to a tile floor and then send a bunch of ferrets running across it.
Mar. 6th, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
Indeed it would. Maybe set them chasing after something and see which can get the closest to catching it.

And otherwise, I've thought about it, and it amuses me further that these warnings only apply to those compounds when specifically sold as lubricant. Water based lubricant is made of largely benign things (such as water) and even the silicone varieties consist largely of dimethicone, which is sold as everything from lip balm to a major component in certain kinds of hair products, none of which seem to have a similar warning.

It would seem that there is something special about lubricant that makes people put it in their ears.
Mar. 6th, 2007 11:38 am (UTC)

.. crap.

*goes and showers*
Mar. 6th, 2007 02:47 pm (UTC)
See, I'm just going to have to think about that for a while.
Mar. 6th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
Gee, Spotty. What brand do you recommend?
Mar. 6th, 2007 08:14 pm (UTC)
Well, now, that entirely depends on your intentions :)
Mar. 8th, 2007 07:51 am (UTC)
(new additions to lable, forthcoming...)
Well, I guess its safe for snorting then! =D
Mar. 8th, 2007 02:55 pm (UTC)
Re: (new additions to lable, forthcoming...)
Mar. 8th, 2007 03:53 pm (UTC)
Re: (new additions to lable, forthcoming...)
And that leads to a sexual act that I'd never even thought of. I don't think a word exists for that one.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )