umm.. Story?? :)

Please? :)
This just sounds too funny. :)

Oh.. and Happy Birthday! :)

Eyes, sure, I can see that... but ears? Heaven forbid your ears become -too- lubricated. The worst thing I can see coming out of that is that it may interfere with your hearing for a while if it actually gets inside, and that's generally true of, well, anything you put in your ears, hm?

A wiser label would warn against contact between the substance and the soles of your shoes.

Or the soles of your roommate's shoes, as the case may be.

Indeed it would. Maybe set them chasing after something and see which can get the closest to catching it.

And otherwise, I've thought about it, and it amuses me further that these warnings only apply to those compounds when specifically sold as lubricant. Water based lubricant is made of largely benign things (such as water) and even the silicone varieties consist largely of dimethicone, which is sold as everything from lip balm to a major component in certain kinds of hair products, none of which seem to have a similar warning.

It would seem that there is something special about lubricant that makes people put it in their ears.

Well....
..

.. crap.

*goes and showers*

Gee, Spotty. What brand do you recommend?

Well, I guess its safe for snorting then! =D

And that leads to a sexual act that I'd never even thought of. I don't think a word exists for that one.