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adopted the Lahore Resolution.US Marines accused of shooting and killing
civiliansforced to make a move that will be disadvantageous.Belgium.

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"My fellow Americans...we've heard a lot about...Iran, and nuclear weapons, and maybe they weren't actually developing them. But that's just rumorous talk. We have to be prepared to fight terror. That's why...we're upgrading our armed forces, so that their love weapons will be better equipped for the reality of the war on terror.

"Every soldier will be equipped with a longer, stronger male stick, before the end of the year. If Congress passes my funding request, our soldiers will be able to show their families their love weapons when they go home for Christmas. These love weapons are among the best in the world, and we believe they are longer, substantially wider and more massive, than the love weapons found in Iran and Pakistan. America has always...led the world...in male sticks. In the initial assault in Iraq, our armed forces' sturdy crotch rods were instrumental in our 'shock and awe' campaign. Iran is suspected of working on weapons of mass insemination. It is our duty, as Americans, to dissuade them from this research, with our own, superior military endowments.

"The War on Terror will not be won by backing out now. We must press forward, long and deep into enemy territory, get a hand on the insurrection and pull it out. The new love weapon is a key part of the military surge plan, and I project that our military's thick, throbbing man missiles will be...instrumental...in establishing a peaceful, free state in Iraq. But not Pakistan, because they're not into that.

"Thank you, and God bless."


( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
This is my rifle, this is my gun! One is for killing, the other's for fun!
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
Wow, the idea puts Don't Ask, Don't Tell into a whole new light. A disco ball accented spotlight, in fact, with thumping music in the background and possibly sequins.
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
The big gay military "do" should be called the "Ask, Tell." That'd be beautiful.
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC)
I think a dance with sparkle light and mini quiches would be entirely appropriate as the celebration of the repeal of that particular bit of regulatory invasive idiocy.

That or a completely typical parade with bunting fluttering in the sunlight as a sign that a soldier's choice of partners has less than nothing to do with his or her ability to march, operate a vehicle, fire a weapon, co-ordinate communciations ...

Ah, ignore me, I've become a broken record on the subject.
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:35 pm (UTC)
Actually, the military's terrified that if enough gays enter the armed forces, they'll do something about that ghastly green camo pattern.

"Putting the camp in encampment..."
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC)
oh ouch, good one
I've wondered about the pink camo-style patterns that I've been seeing on girl's clothing.

I suppose it could be useful if a sniper ever has to hide in a bowl of strawberry ice cream...
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
Re: oh ouch, good one
*hides shirt behind back* Those were girl's shirts? Oh...but they go so well with my purple camo pants...
Dec. 5th, 2007 08:06 pm (UTC)
Re: oh ouch, good one
Well that's because everything goes with purple camo pants.
Dec. 5th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
Re: oh ouch, good one
Or a rose garden.
Dec. 5th, 2007 08:03 pm (UTC)
Re: oh ouch, good one
[in French] "I am a rose, and my bayonet, is my thorn..."
Dec. 5th, 2007 08:05 pm (UTC)
Re: oh ouch, good one
My love she is a red red rose/
And I am a little thorny.

Dec. 5th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
Nice icon :)
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
Heh, yeah, I chose that one for use here deliberately. My "Warning: explicit content" wouldn't be of as much interest to the target audience.
Dec. 5th, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC)
Hmm. I need to make an icon that says "WARNING: IMPLICIT CONTENT." I'm not sure what it would have on it, though.
Dec. 5th, 2007 09:46 pm (UTC)
I just want you all to know I was eating a grape Blow Pop as I skimmed over this.

I had to read more closely.

I. I don't think I can eat this lolly anymore. Not without irony.
Dec. 5th, 2007 11:17 pm (UTC)
The tragedy of a suggestively spoiled grape lolly :(

Why grape, I wonder?
Dec. 6th, 2007 01:24 am (UTC)
"What do you do for a living?"

"Me? Oh, I write poetry and stories mostly."

"Really? Thats cool! What about?"

"... MegaDick..."

"... oh."
Dec. 6th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC)
You know, I nearly kicked myself when I realized I entirely missed the acrostic spelling "megadick" down the side. I was staring at the letters, trying to figure out what they mean, for a good minute. it took like 30 minutes for it to register.
Dec. 6th, 2007 08:47 am (UTC)
I had to stare at it too for half an hour. I hope to see more of it. *wag*
Dec. 6th, 2007 02:05 pm (UTC)
Dec. 6th, 2007 08:56 am (UTC)
My short-term memory is sometimes spotty, my awareness of places in time warped, etc etc... but lord help me... I can find the MegaDick in a split second of reading a spam post.

*sigh*... the priorities of my mind astound me. ^^;
Dec. 6th, 2007 02:04 pm (UTC)
Really, "Find the Megadick" should be a competitive sport. Like skeet shooting. Or Quoits.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )