Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic
spottylogic

Obsess much?

Internal voice, probably ego: "Okay! They want me to transcribe all this wine-and-cheese themed data from a survey into a Word document. Cool! Okay, here's the original hard-copy--I love the little questionaire cards, pretty burgeondy background, kind of satiny--we'll just pop open photoshop--Okay, use pencil to draw in wavy ribbony lines, reset gradient fill to wine red, and, fill background, select interior of ribbon pattern, apply double-difference layers--right, that looks great, almost a lighting effect, and offset pencil lines by a few pixels for a shading--cool. Now, offset by one-half of original size, edit a bit, undo offset--there, seamless tiled background. Excellent!

"Right! Cool! Okay, apply to background of word document. Damn, that turned it into a web page. Okay, try again. Damn. Okay...um...I want patterned borders. Uh...okay, create 8.5x11 image with feathered edges, fill with pattern. Yes! Back to word document, paste as background! Right! That almost worked! Damn you, Word! Co-operate! Or I'll bite you! Right, threats worked again. Now, text-box, fill with winebg.jpg, excellent, but why did it slide to the right of the page and move the stationary background image to the left? Oh, it's gone into webpage mode again. Let's try..."

(an hour later) "Beautiful! Feathered background with wine pattern, text box, same background, off-yellow font, perfect, survey responses, lovely! Print out a copy, coolness, pity the blue is still cutting out, it's pink, but beyond that, work of art. Yes!"

Another internal voice, probably superego, always a bit late: "Spotty, did it occur to you that they probably just want their data? This was a survey, not a marketing flyer in process."

Pause..."Damn."

"But it looks so nice!"
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