"Right! Cool! Okay, apply to background of word document. Damn, that turned it into a web page. Okay, try again. Damn. Okay...um...I want patterned borders. Uh...okay, create 8.5x11 image with feathered edges, fill with pattern. Yes! Back to word document, paste as background! Right! That almost worked! Damn you, Word! Co-operate! Or I'll bite you! Right, threats worked again. Now, text-box, fill with winebg.jpg, excellent, but why did it slide to the right of the page and move the stationary background image to the left? Oh, it's gone into webpage mode again. Let's try..."
(an hour later) "Beautiful! Feathered background with wine pattern, text box, same background, off-yellow font, perfect, survey responses, lovely! Print out a copy, coolness, pity the blue is still cutting out, it's pink, but beyond that, work of art. Yes!"
Another internal voice, probably superego, always a bit late: "Spotty, did it occur to you that they probably just want their data? This was a survey, not a marketing flyer in process."
"But it looks so nice!"