I was cleaning out my e-mail at work, and stumbled across this bit, about teaching my mother's german shepherd, Hildegaard, how to emboss bibles and engrave prayer books so I wouldn't have to...

"Hildegaard, sit! Hildegaard, emboss with 18-pt Goudy! Hildy, did you get “b” and “d” backwards? Dab bog! Dab!"