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Oh, whipping boy...

"Oh whipping boy, whipping boy!"
"Yes, mistress?"
"Whipping boy, prepare me a report on sales of the English Language Learners complete package over the last two years. And whipping boy, I want it in red this time. Why you waste my time with black ink, I'll never know. We will never stand apart from our competitors with black ink."
"Yes, mistress. My life to serve."
"Oh, and whipping boy?"
"Yes, mistress?"
"Fax it."
"You heard me. Fax it. Fax it red. Ha hah!"
"As...you wish, mistress."
"And once you have faxed my...red document, you and I shall take a tour around the building, looking for displays for the conference. The English Language Learners conference."
"I serve only you, mistress."
"Do you know where to find displays, whipping boy?"
"I don't, mistress."
"I think you do, whipping boy."
"Perhaps in the marketing closet, mistress?"
"And this closet, do you know how to open it?"
"Oh yes, mistress!"
"And can I trust you with the key, whipping boy? I don't think I can. I will go with you, and tether you with this leash. You cannot be trusted with even a key, whipping boy."
"As you say, mistress."
"I do say, whipping boy. Put on your leash."
"Yes mistress, I shall. The collar is too tight, mistress."
"You will try to escape, if it is too loose, and we could not have that. Now, my fax."
"Yes, mistress."
"My...red fax."
"Yes, mistress."
"You will need to find the sales information, you know."
"Of course, mistress."
"You will do this by two o'clock, whipping boy."
"I serve only you."


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 23rd, 2004 11:58 am (UTC)
> Fax it in red

That's one of those In-DUH-vidual stories people make up and send in to Dilbert, right?

I mean, no one ACTUALLY said this.


Tell me no one actually said this.

Feb. 23rd, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC)
Well, no, "fax it red" was a teensy bit of exaggeration on my part. The attitude of Boss #3, though, cries out for stiletto heels and a riding crop. Sensible stiletto heels, mind.

Sigh. Why I Cannot Get Caught Up With My Workload...
Feb. 23rd, 2004 12:10 pm (UTC)
I have two screens--two screens--of e-mail entries I haven't been able to check--business e-mail, mind--because of this woman.
Feb. 23rd, 2004 12:00 pm (UTC)
*whimpers and tries to maintian his quasi-professional-work-face* :) :)
Feb. 23rd, 2004 12:57 pm (UTC)
Stop it, Spotty, you're turning me on ;)
Feb. 23rd, 2004 01:15 pm (UTC)
Hee hee...I didn't tell you I was into the BDOS scene? (Bondage, Discipline, Office Supplies...)
Feb. 24th, 2004 05:27 am (UTC)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )