You can never have too many bottles of French's Mustard.
Against all logic, a jug of milk with an inch left in the bottom is a valuable collectors' item. Who knew?
Buffalo wing sauce doesn't go bad, but it does etch metal.
Eventually, anything left in tupperware resembles spaghetti sauce.
Except spaghetti sauce, which resembles an arctic landscape.
White styrofoam take-home boxes are one-celled organisms that breed through icebox mitosis. Their chromosomes are slices of pizza, which is why some have one slice, some have two. The ones with one slice just fissioned.
Salsa never goes bad, except for cheap salsa, which has a shelf life of 35 minutes.
I have never, ever, in my life, finished off a carton of whipping cream.
There is no way to tell if a bottle of buttermilk has gone bad. But if it's at the back of the refrigerator, it probably is.
Nobody eats more than one pickle from the jar.