It may be that I'm in a very "beta wolf" position in my life right now. I'm support staff--an administrative assistant, and something about that subordinate role, the constant play of checks and balances, permissions, et cetera. Maybe it's finances--we're renting the house. I was in a state of mild terror when the landlord said he wanted his son to look at the place--what if it was to pass it over to a new tenant? Argh! Of course, being in debt is a part of being an adult.
I dunno. I still feel as jittery and young as when I went into college, and the world is just as challenging. This will probably be an eternal state.