Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic
spottylogic

Warning:

WARNING: OBJECTS PERCEIVED THROUGH GRAVITATIONAL LENSING EFFECT OF TWO SUPERMASSIVE STARS ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

BRITE-O TOILET CLEANSER FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY

DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF REST-RIGHT MATTRESSES

NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEFT, DAMAGE THROUGH NEGLIGENCE, OR ACTS OF JUDEO-CHRISTIAN GOD

NOT TO BE REMOVED EXCEPT BY CUSTOMER UNDER PENALTY OF VAGUE, UNDEFINED GUILT

NOT LIABLE FOR DAMAGE TO GENDER ROLE

THE SURGEON GENERAL HAS DETERMINED THAT USE OF THIS PRODUCT AS INTENDED IS GAUCHE

WARNING: USE OF RINSEWELL ALL-PURPOSE CLEANSER IS THANKLESS

ADULT DOSE: ONCE EVERY FOUR HOURS, NOT TO EXCEED FOUR DOSES PER DAY. IF SYMPTOM PERSIST, DISCONTINUE USE OF RELIGION AND CONTACT A PHYSICIAN

NOT FOR USE AS A MORAL COMPASS

ALLERGEN WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN WHOLE COCONUTS.

LIFE PRESERVER IS A FLOATATION DEVICE, AND IS NOT INTENDED TO AFFECT YOUR SOCIAL STANDING OR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP(S)

PHENYLKETONURICS - CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE, OR MAY BE AN EARLY 1980S HAIR BAND

IN CASE OF ACCIDENTAL INGESTION BE MORE CAREFUL IN THE FUTURE

LIFE-STYLE AND SUGGESTED WEALTH LEVELS OF INDIVIDUALS PORTRAYED IN TUREL CIGARETTE ADVERTISEMENTS ARE ONLY REINACTMENTS. TUREL IS NOT OBLIGATED TO PROVIDE A CAR, BEACH PARTY OR PERFECT BLOND HAIR WITH PRODUCT.

USE OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HAS BEEN CONCLUSIVELY LINKED TO HALITOSIS, ACNE AND LOSS OF SLEEP.

NOT VALID IN TX, CA, FL OR BELGIAN CONGO

OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS PROGRAM ARE PURELY THE OPINIONS OF THE WRITER, AND IN NO WAY REFLECT THE BELIEFS AND VALUES OF THE AUDIENCE

WARNING: EXTENDED USE OF MICHAEL HAS BEEN LINKED TO DROWSINESS, IRRITABILITY AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE/HYPERTENSION. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE BEGINNING RELATIONSHIP WITH DRAMA QUEEN.

TEENAGER NOT TO BE REMOVED FROM BED UNDER PENALTY OF WHINING AND NASTY LOOKS.

IN CASE OF INTENTIONAL INGESTION A 15% GRATUITY HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR RECEIPT

USE OF CLOVE CIGARETTES DURING PREGNANCY MAY CAUSE FETAL ANGST

USE OF PRODUCT HAS BEEN LINKED TO BAD HAIR

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: USE OF REPUBLICAN PARTY HAS NOT BEEN CONCLUSIVELY LINKED TO HIGHER SOCIAL STATUS AND INCOME. AS ALWAYS, CONSULT YOUR FAMILY PHYSICIAN BEFORE ADOPTING A NEW POLITICAL PARTY.

WARNING: CONTAINS BROKEN GLASS

THE SACRAMENTS EXPRESSED IN THE 1836 BOOK OF COMMON PRAYER ARE OUTWARD AND VISIBLE SIGNS OF AN INWARD AND SPIRITUAL GRACE, AND IN NO WAY IMPLY A CONTRACTUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND OR A DIVINE POWER

WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE OR DELAY SERVICE IF WAITER DOESN'T THINK YOU'RE CUTE

MAY CAUSE EXISTENTIAL DOUBT
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