Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic

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Good Housekeeping: A series

Today's menu: Salad Cookbook Secrets!

Helpful Hints:

Use leftover canned fruit syrup to thin mayonnaise or cream cheese; then use as dressing for fruit salad. Or substitute syrup for part of liquid in molded fruit salad recipes.

If anyone ever sees me thinning mayonnaise with leftover canned fruit juice, just shoot me.

Page 8: Asparagus Hump.

This recipe isn't nearly as exciting as the name suggests. I had to put my erotic asparagus fantasies aside when I saw that it was only a light, fluffy sour cream dressing for asparagus spears. This saddens. The name promises, but it's just...another...topping. Sigh.

Page 14: "slice peeled ripe tomatoes into shallow dish...sprinkle with salt, scallions, dried basil......pour french dressing over all, refrigerate, drain before serving." Dull, but the recipe name, so reminiscint of yesterday's "Sherried Prune Tart," is "Marinated Tomatoes."

Page 16: "Guess-What Salad." That's a meal I'll most surely threaten my guests with. "What's on the plate tonight, Spotty?" "Oh...salad." (steeples fingers.) "Salad? What kind of salad?" "Guess."

Celery and parsnips, by the way. These recipes just don't live up to their names. Celery and parsnip salad isn't so much a "guess what" as a "guess why."

Page 19: "Vegetable-Cheese Tossup"
Brought to you by the Board of Poor Name Choices.

Page 46: "Olive-Relish Mold"
Is this another tossup?

I've committed a few crimes in the kitchen, but nothing that deserves the harsh justice of Page 55: "Cinnamon Candy Salad Molds." That's just vicious. Who would have thought that fruit cocktails, celery and salad greens would go so well with cinnamon red-hots? Have they been institutionalized?

No, they escaped to write up the recipe on page 57: "Jewel-Toned Ham-Salad Mold." (makes horking sound) That's better than the funnel-pork idea. It's like funnel cake, but meatier.

"I want you to know how deeply I care for you. And I wanted this meal to be special. Tonight, baby, it's about us."

"That's a jewel-toned ham-salad mold."

"You know it."

"Turn out the lights, dinner can wait."

Next: "Casserole Book" :)

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