Spotty Logic (spottylogic) wrote,
Spotty Logic

  • Music:

In a truly incorrect world...

Periodically, the room numbers for special education programs would change, just for fun.

Holy wars would erupt over "Bud Bundy is cooler than Kelly Bundy." Third-world nations without access to late 80's TV would be brought in as arbitrating parties. Their populations would be decimated.

Baby-shaking would be public art. There would be musical numbers.

Poligical campaigns would be won or lost purely on which candidate told the best joke at the expense of the French.

Cutting-edge keyboards would feature a "porn" button, saving countless man-hours of waiting for the desktop icons to load.

Classical music concerts would feature works like Berlietz's "Cantata and Fuge in E Flat Minor, for Winds, Piano and Intestinal Noises."

Meat products would be status symbols.

Concentration camps would be established for the chronically irritating. Visitors would be restricted from throwing fruit--instead, they would be issued chunks of wood, and dull rocks.

State and federal income tax penalties could be paid with sex. Parking tickets were briefly payable in sex, but the radical increase of parking violations made this impractical.

Most civil trials would be settled via the simple expediency of which legal representative, prosecuting attorney or defense, provides the most spirited rendition of "We've Got the Funk."

  • Aww :)

    So for YEARS the University of Texas Pagan, Vampire Larp, and GLBT groups tended to cluster around a particular oak tree in the west mall. I think we…

  • cargrump

    Whoof. I've taken a few beatings over the last few days over this. My office is moving across town, which spells an end for my nice little commute…

  • Tonight's experiment--

    Okay, so it's Dogai's birthday tonight. Bauson said that D really liked "biscoff" cookies, which are buttery little things with a touch of spice, and…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened